Irish Wit and Humor / Anecdote Biography of Swift, Curran, O'Leary and O'Connell
DEAN SWIFT.
NEW YORK: J. A. McGEE, 9 BARCLAY STREET. 1872.
Entered according to the act of Congress, in the year 1871, by James McGee in the office of the Librarian of Congress, at Washington. Stereotyped at the New York Catholic Protectory, West Chester, N. Y.
Dr. Jonathan Swift, Dean of St. Patrick's, was born a.d. 1667, in Hoey's Court, Dublin, the fourth house, right hand side, as you enter from Werburgh-street. The houses in this court still bear evidence of having been erected for the residence of respectable folks. The Dean's House, as it is usually designated, had marble chimney-pieces, was wainscotted from hall to garret, and had panelled oak doors, one of which is in possession of Doctor Willis, Rathmines—a gentleman who takes a deep interest in all matters connected with the history of his native city.
When Swift was a year old, an event happened to him that seems very unusual; for his nurse, who was a woman of Whitehaven, being under the absolute necessity of seeing one of her relations, who was then extremely sick, and from whom she expected a legacy; and being extremely fond of the infant, she stole him on shipboard unknown to his mother and uncle, and carried him with her to Whitehaven, where he continued for almost three years. For, when the matter was discovered, his mother sent orders by all means not to hazard a second voyage till he could be better able to bear it. The nurse was so careful of him that before he returned he had learned to spell; and by the time that he was five years old, he could read any chapter in the Bible.
After his return to Ireland he was sent at six years old to the school of Kilkenny, from whence at fourteen he was admitted into the Dublin University.
Swift, in one of his pedestrian journeys from London towards Chester, is reported to have taken shelter from a summer tempest under a large oak on the road side, at no great distance from Litchfield. Presently, a man, with a pregnant woman, wore driven by the like impulse to avail themselves of the same covert. The Dean, entering into conversation, found the parties were destined for Litchfield to be married. As the situation of the woman indicated no time should be lost, a proposition was made on his part to save them the rest of the journey, by performing the ceremony on the spot. The offer was gladly accepted, and thanks being duly returned, the bridal pair, as the sky brightened, was about to return: but the bridegroom suddenly recollecting that a certificate was requisite to authenticate the marriage, requested one, which the Dean wrote in these words:
Anonymous
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IRISH WIT AND HUMOR,
ANECDOTE BIOGRAPHY
OF
CONTENTS.
HIS BIRTH.
SINGULAR EVENT.
A CERTIFICATE OF MARRIAGE.
GRACE AFTER DINNER.
THE THREE CROSSES.
TO THE LANDLORD.
CHIEF JUSTICE WHITSHED.
CHIEF JUSTICE WHITSHED'S MOTTO ON HIS COACH.
ON THE SAME UPRIGHT CHIEF JUSTICE WHITSHED.
TO QUILCA.
MR. PULTENEY.
RESOLUTIONS WHEN I COME TO BE OLD.
MISS BENNET.
THE FEAST OF O'ROURKE.
SWIFT'S BEHAVIOR AT TABLE.
COUNTESS OF BURLINGTON.
SWIFT'S POLITICAL PRINCIPLES.
SWIFT'S CHARITY.
PUBLIC ABSURDITIES IN IRELAND.
SWIFT'S PECULIARITY OF HUMOR.
DR. BOLTON.
THE SCRIBLERUS CLUB.
THE UPSTART.
MEDITATION UPON A BROOMSTICK.
COSSING A DOG.
TRADE OF IRELAND.
A BEGGAR'S WEDDING.
THE PIES.
SHORT CHARITY SERMON.
A COURTIER'S RETORT.
LYING.
DR. SACHEVERELL.
TAXING THE AIR.
WISDOM.
EPITAPH ON JUDGE BOAT.
ON STEPHEN DUCK, THE THRESHER AND FAVORITE POET.
DIALOGUE BETWEEN SWIFT AND HIS LANDLORD.
ROGER COX.
ROGER AND THE POULTRY.
KELLY THE BLACKSMITH.
BIRTH-DAY PRESENTS.
VERSES BY SWIFT, ON THE OCCASION.
THE DEAN'S CONTRIBUTORY DINNER.
SWIFT AND BETTESWORTH.
SWIFT AMONG THE LAWYERS.
PREACHING PATRIOTISM.
SWIFT AND HIS BUTLER
HIS SATURNALIA.
THE DEAN AND FAULKNER.
SWIFT, ARBUTHNOT, AND PARNELL.
DEAN SWIFT AND THE PREACHER WHO STOLE HIS SERMON.
SWIFT'S QUEER TESTIMONIAL TO HIS SERVANT.
SWIFT AT THOMASTOWN.
SWIFT'S LAST LINES.
HIS BIRTH.
CURRAN AS PUNCH'S MAN.
CURRAN AT A DEBATING SOCIETY.
CURRAN AND THE BANKER.
HIS DUEL WITH ST. LEGER.
THE MONKS OF THE SCREW.
LORD AVONMORE.
HIS FIRST CLIENT.
CURRAN AND THE INFORMER.
LORD CLARE.
CURRAN'S ELOQUENCE.
SCENE BETWEEN FITZGIBBON AND CURRAN IN THE IRISH PARLIAMENT.
HIS DEFENCE OF ARCHIBALD HAMILTON ROWAN.
ENCOUNTER WITH A FISHWOMAN.
CURRAN AND LORD ERSKINE.
HIS DUEL WITH BULLY EGAN.
MASSY VERSUS HEADFORT.
THE SERENADING LOVER.
EMPLOYMENT OF INFORMERS.
CURRAN AND THE FARMER.
CURRAN AND THE JUDGE.
CURRAN'S QUARREL WITH FITZGIBBON.
HIGH AUTHORITY.
USE OF RED TAPE.
CURRAN AND THE MASTIFF.
HIS CONTROVERSY WITH AN INFIDEL.
HIS INTERVIEW WITH DR. MANN.
CONTROVERSY WITH JOHN WESLEY.
MEETING OF O'LEARY AND WESLEY.
DR. O'LEARY AND FATHER CALLANAN.
O'LEARY AND THE QUAKERS.
HIS RECEPTION AT THE ROTUNDO BY THE VOLUNTEERS.
O'LEARY AND JOHN O'KEEFE.
O'LEARY AND THE IRISH PARLIAMENT.
HIS INTERVIEW WITH DANIEL DANSER.
A FOP.
HIS PERSON AND MODE OF ARGUMENT.
O'LEARY AND "CAPTAIN ROCK."
LOTS DRAWN TO HAVE HIM AT DINNER.
O'LEARY AND THE RECTOR.
LADY MORGAN.
A BATCH OF INTERESTING ANECDOTES.
A DOG'S RELIGION.
HOWARD, THE PHILANTHROPIST, AND MR. HENRY SHEARS.
HIS HABITS OF STUDY—HIS INFLUENCE.
EDMOND BURKE.
HIS CHARITY.
O'LEARY VERSUS CURRAN.
HIS TRIUMPH OVER DR. JOHNSON.
A NOLLE PROSEQUI.
THE PRINCE OF WALES.
THE CLOSING SCENES OF HIS LIFE.
DARBY MORAN.
A DEAD MAN WITH LIFE IN HIM.
A YOUNG JUDGE DONE.
O'CONNELL AND A SNARLING ATTORNEY.
HIS ENCOUNTER WITH BIDDY MORIARTY.
O'CONNELL AND A BILKING CLIENT.
SOW-WEST AND THE WIGS.
ELECTION AND RAILWAY DINNERS.
SCENE AT KILLINEY.
AN INSOLENT JUDGE.
A WITNESS CAJOLED.
HIS DUEL WITH CAPTAIN D'ESTERRE.
O'CONNELL AND SECRETARY GOULBURN.
ENTRAPPING A WITNESS.
GAINING OVER A JURY.
PADDY AND THE PARSON.
A MARTIAL JUDGE.
RETENTIVE MEMORY.
A POLITICAL HURRAH AT A FUNERAL.
REFUSAL OF OFFICE.
A MISTAKEN FRENCHMAN.
EPISTOLARY BORES.
SIR R. PEEL'S OPINION OF O'CONNELL.
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