"My Novel" — Volume 03

This eBook was produced by David Widger
I am not displeased with your novel, so far as it has gone, said my father, graciously; though as for the Sermon— Here I trembled; but the ladies, Heaven bless them! had taken Parson Dale under their special protection; and observing that my father was puckering up his brows critically, they rushed forward boldly in defence of The Sermon, and Mr. Caxton was forced to beat a retreat. However, like a skilful general, he renewed the assault upon outposts less gallantly guarded. But as it is not my business to betray my weak points, I leave it to the ingenuity of cavillers to discover the places at which the Author of Human Error directed his great guns.
But, said the captain, you are a lad of too much spirit, Pisistratus, to keep us always in the obscure country quarters of Hazeldean,—you will march us out into open service before you have done with us?
PISISTRATUS (magisterially, for he has been somewhat nettled by Mr. Caxton's remarks, and he puts on an air of dignity in order to awe away minor assailants).— Yes, Captain Roland; not yet a while, but all in good time. I have not stinted myself in canvas, and behind my foreground of the Hall and the Parsonage I propose hereafter to open some lengthened perspective of the varieties of English life—
MR. CAXTON.— Hum!
BLANCHE (putting her hand on my father's lip).— We shall know better the design, perhaps, when we know the title. Pray, Mr. Author, what is the title?
MY MOTHER (with more animation than usual).— Ay, Sisty, the title!
PISISTRATUS (startled).— The title! By the soul of Cervantes! I have never yet thought of a title!
CAPTAIN ROLAND (solemnly).— There is a great deal in a good title. As a novel reader, I know that by experience.
MR. SQUILLS.— Certainly; there is not a catchpenny in the world but what goes down, if the title be apt and seductive. Witness 'Old Parr's Life Pills.' Sell by the thousand, Sir, when my 'Pills for Weak Stomachs,' which I believe to be just the same compound, never paid for the advertising.