The So-called Human Race
A PENNY WHISTLE THE SO-CALLED HUMAN RACE THE EAST WINDOW ( Fall, 1922 )
And others in a uniform collected edition, to be ready later.
New York: Alfred · A · Knopf
by Bert Leston Taylor
Arranged, with an Introduction, by Henry B. Fuller
New York
1922 Alfred · A · Knopf
Set up and electrotyped by J. J. Little & Ives Co., New York, N. Y. Paper furnished by W. F. Etherington & Co., New York, N. Y. Printed by the Vail-Ballou Co., Binghamton, N. Y. Bound by the H. Wolff Estate, New York, N. Y.
MANUFACTURED IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
Once upon a summer’s night
Mused a mischief-making sprite,
Underneath the leafy hood
Bert Leston Taylor
---
SIMPLE
WE’LL TELL THE PLEIADES SO.
HEARD IN THE BANK.
TO A WELL-KNOWN GLOBE.
THEY FOUND THEM IN THE ALLEY.
THE TOONERVILLE TROLLEY.
GARDENS.
THE BABES IN THE WOOD.
“FAY CE QUE VOULDRAS.”
SOMEWHERE IN THE MICHIGAN WOODS.
SHE SAT APART.
THE G. P. P.
BEG YOUR PARDON.
YES?
MERCIFULLY SEPARATED.
ACADEMY NOTES.
TO MARY GARDEN—WITH A POSTSCRIPT.
ACADEMY JOTTINGS.
HE SHOULD.
AFTER READING HARVEY’S WEEKLY.
DOXOLOGY.
OFT IN THE STILLY WISCONSIN NIGHT.
I.—DOCTOR MAYHEW’S SHOP.
II.—THE RIVER.
III.—SMUDGE.
IV.—“BOGWAH.”
V.—FINE FEATHERS.
VI.—THALASSA!
ARMS AND THE COLYUM.
WE FEARED WE HAD STARTED SOMETHING.
THEY’RE OFF!
SWEETLY INEFFECTIVE.
BUT APROPOS.
SORRY. THERE WERE SEVERAL IN LINE AHEAD OF YOU.
THE DICTATERS.
THINGS WORTH KNOWING.
BALLADE OF THE OUBLIETTE.
THAT TRIOLET DRIVEL.
BUT WOULD IT NOT REQUIRE A GEOLOGIC PERIOD?
THE TRACERS ARE AT WORK.
BOLSHEVISM OF LONG AGO.
I.
II.
III.
IV.
V.
VI.
IT HAS BEEN DONE.
TEMPERATURE.
FOR WHICH MUCH THANKS.
OPEN THE GATES!
MISTER TOBIN, EDUCATOR.
THE VALVE-HANDLE SNEEZE.
THE SANDS OF TIME.
THE TRUTH AT LAST!
THINK OF IT!
ALMOST.
A TALE FOR CHILDREN ONLY.
I.
II.
III.
IV.
V.
VI.
“THE FRIEND OF THE PEOPLE.”
THE WORLD’S GREATEST WINTER RESORT.
A GOOD MOTTO.
BRAHMS, OPUS 116.
MUSIC HINT.
SORRY WE MISSED YOU.
THE GOOD OLD DAYS.
APRILLY.
FOR THE LAST DAY OF MARCH.
CHANCES, 2; ERRORS, 2.
SMACK! SMACK!
LITERATURE.
THE BELLS OF FROGNAL LANE.
LETTER IN ACKNOWLEDGEMENT OF WEDDING PRESENT.
A FEW MORE “BEST BAD LINES.”
SEIZE HIM, SCOUTS!
“THAT’S GOOD.”
WHY BANK CLERKS ARE TIRED.
BETTER ENGLISH IN THE BEANERY.
HAPPY THOUGHT.
A FAIRY TALE FOR SYMPATHETIC ELDERS.
I.
III.
IV.
BRIGHT SAYINGS OF MOTHER.
MEMORY TESTS FOR THE HOME.
LEVI BEIN’ A GOOD SPORT.
YEO-HEAVE-HO!
INDIFFERENCE.
II.
III.
IV.
V.
VI.
IT MUST BE ABOUT TIME.
DENTAL FLOSS.
JUST ABOUT.
“NATURE NEVER DID DECEIVE …”
COMMERCIAL CANDOR.
THE DAY OF “DON’TS.”
A BALANCED TUITION.
OPINION CONCURRED IN.
TRANSCENDENTAL CALM.
IT WOULD PUT ’EM ON THE STAGE.
COUNTRY LIFE IN AMERICA.
THERE WERE IMMORTALS BEFORE JET WIMP.
CONTRIBUTIONS THAT HAVE AMUSED US.
SHE PREFERRED HER PSYCHOPATHY STRAIGHT.
THE COME-BACK.
THANKS TO MISS MONROE’S MAGAZINE.
TRADE CLASSICS.
DENATURED LIMERICKS.
ALL RIGHT, DAISY.
THE SHY AND LOWLYS.
HE MIGHT TRIM THE VIOLETS.
I.
II.
THE BROODING DOVE.
SHE NOT ONLY HAS A BOOK. SHE HAS TWO!
YES, YES.
YE STUFF.
YOU KNOW THE TUNE.
THE TREE TOADS.
LIMERIK.
THE CHIGGER.
ACT II., SCENE II.
VARIANT OF THE V. H. W.
AN EVENING WITH SHAKESPEARE.
YOURS, ETC.
BUTCHER TO THE ACADEMY.
ACADEMY NOTES.
CUPID CARRIES A CARD.
ANNOUNCEMENT!
Transcriber’s Note