The Trial of William Tinkling / Written by Himself at the Age of 8 Years

WRITTEN BY HIMSELF AT THE AGE OF 8 YEARS
BY CHARLES DICKENS
LONDON: CONSTABLE AND CO. LTD.
The story contained herein was written by Charles Dickens in 1867. It is the first of four stories entitled Holiday Romance and was published originally in a children's magazine in America. It purports to be written by a child aged eight. It was republished in England in All the Year Round in 1868. For this and four other Christmas pieces Dickens received £1,000.
Holiday Romance was published in book form by Messrs Chapman & Hall in 1874, with Edwin Drood and other stories.
For this reprint the text of the story as it appeared in All the Year Round has been followed.
This beginning-part is not made out of anybody's head, you know. It's real. You must believe this beginning-part more than what comes after, else you won't understand how what comes after came to be written. You must believe it all, but you must believe this most, please. I am the Editor of it. Bob Redforth (he's my cousin, and shaking the table on purpose) wanted to be the Editor of it, but I said he shouldn't because he couldn't. He has no idea of being an editor.
Nettie Ashford is my Bride. We were married in the right-hand closet in the corner of the dancing-school where first we met, with a ring (a green one) from Wilkingwater's toy-shop. I owed for it out of my pocket-money. When the rapturous ceremony was over, we all four went up the lane and let off a cannon (brought loaded in Bob Redforth's waistcoat-pocket) to announce our nuptials. It flew right up when it went off, and turned over. Next day, Lieutenant-Colonel Robin Redforth was united, with similar ceremonies, to Alice Rainbird. This time the cannon bust with a most terrific explosion, and made a puppy bark.
My peerless Bride was, at the period of which we now treat, in captivity at Miss Grimmer's. Drowvey and Grimmer is the partnership, and opinion is divided which is the greatest Beast. The lovely bride of the Colonel was also immured in the Dungeons of the same establishment. A vow was entered into between the Colonel and myself that we would cut them out on the following Wednesday, when walking two and two.