The Perils of Pauline

Transcribed by Sean Pobuda
By Charles Goddard
In one of the stateliest mansions on the lower Hudson, near New York, old Stanford Marvin, president of the Marvin Motors Company, dozed over his papers, while Owen, his confidential secretary, eyed him across the mahogany flat-topped desk. A soft purring sound floated in the open window and half-roused the aged manufacturer. It came from one of his own cars—six cylinders chanting in unison a litany of power to the great modern god of gasoline.
These things had been in his mind since the motor industry started. He had lived with them, wrestled with them during his meals and taken them to his dreams at night. Now they formed a rhythm, and he heard them in his brain just before the fainting spells, which had come so frequently of late. He glanced at the secretary and noted Owen's gaze with something of a start.
What are you thinking about, Raymond? he queried, with his customary directness.
Your health, sir, replied Owen, who, like all intelligent rascals, never lied when the truth would do equally well. As a matter of fact, Owen had wondered whether his employer would last a year or a month. He much preferred a month, for there was reason to believe that the Marvin will would contain a handsome bequest to my faithful secretary.
Oh, bosh! said the old man. You and Dr. Stevens would make a mummy of me before I'm dead.
That reminds me, sir, said Owen, smoothly, that the International Express Company has delivered a large crate addressed to you from Cairo, Egypt. I presume it is the mummy you bought on your last trip. Where shall I place it?
Mr. Marvin's eye coursed around the walls of the handsome library, which had been his office since the doctor had forbidden him to visit his automobile works and steel-stamping mills.
Take out that bust of Pallas Athene, he ordered, and stand the mummy up in its place.
Owen nodded, poised his pencil and prompted:
You were just dictating about the new piston rings.