The Cynic's Rules of Conduct

o to the Aunt, thou sluggard, and offer her ten off on your legacy for spot cash.
he difference between a bad break and a faux pas indicates the kind of society you are in.
hen alone in Paris behave as if all the world were your mother-in-law.
emember, too, that perhaps you are not the sort of husband that Father used to make.
ou may refer to her cheeks as roses, but the man who sends her American beauties will leave you at the post.
woman should dress to make men covetous and women envious.
ven Cupid crosses his fingers at what he hears by moonlight.
fter marriage you may speak of her temper; but during courtship you had better refer to it as temperament.
hen dinners entice thee consent thou not.
he position of the hostess should be at the doorway of the drawing-room to receive her guests. The position of her husband should be at his office desk making the money to pay for the blow-out.
t is safer to do business with jailbirds than with relatives.
iscuss family scandals before the servants. We should always be kind to the lower classes.