Perfect Behavior: A Guide for Ladies and Gentlemen in All Social Crises - Donald Ogden Stewart - Book

Perfect Behavior: A Guide for Ladies and Gentlemen in All Social Crises

Those who are not self-possessed obtrude and pain us.—EMERSON A parody outline of etiquette by the Author of “A Parody Outline of History” The perfect gentleman is he who never unintentionally causes pain.—OLD PROVERB
TO THE BRIDEGROOM WHOSE WEDDING WAS RUINED BECAUSE THE BRIDE CAME DOWN THE AISLE ON THE RIGHT INSTEAD OF THE LEFT ARM OF HER FATHER With Deepest Sympathy
Courtship is one of the oldest of social customs, even antedating in some countries such long-established usages as marriage, or the wearing of white neckties with full evening dress. The beginnings of the etiquette of courtship were apparently connected in some way with the custom of “love” between the sexes, and many of the old amatory forms still survive in the modern courtship. It is generally agreed among students of the history of etiquette that when “love” first began to become popular among the better class of younger people they took to it with such avidity that it was necessary to devise some sort of rules for the conduct of formal or informal love-making. These rules, together with various amendments, now constitute the etiquette of courtship.
Suppose, for example, that you are a young gentleman named Richard Roe desirous of entering upon a formal courtship with some refined young girl of fashion. You are also, being a college graduate, engaged in the bond business. One morning there comes into your financial institution a young lady, named Dorothy Doe, who at once attracts your attention by her genteel manners, as exemplified by the fact that she calls the president of your company “father.” So many young people seem to think it “smart” to refer to their parents as “dad” or “my old man”; you are certain, as soon as you hear her say “Hello, father” to your employer, that she is undoubtedly a worthy object of courtship.
Your first step should be, of course, the securing of an introduction. Introductions still play an important part in social intercourse, and many errors are often perpetrated by those ignorant of savoir faire (correct form). When introducing a young lady to a stranger for example, it is not au fait (correct form) to simply say, “Mr. Roe, I want you to shake hands with my friend Dorothy.” Under the rules of the beau monde (correct form) this would probably be done as follows: “Dorothy (or Miss Doe), shake hands with Mr. Roe.” Always give the name of the lady first, unless you are introducing some one to the President of the United States, the Archbishop of Canterbury, a member of the nobility above a baron, or a customer. The person who is being “introduced” then extends his (or her) right ungloved hand and says, “Shake.” You “shake,” saying at the same time, “It’s warm (cool) for November (May),” to which the other replies, “I’ll say it is.”

Donald Ogden Stewart
Содержание

Perfect Behavior


Illustrated by Ralph Barton


A Guide for Ladies and Gentlemen in all Social Crises


Contents


CONTENTS


A FEW WORDS ABOUT LOVE


CORRECT INTRODUCTIONS; HOW TO MAKE THEM


CARDS AND FLOWERS


FLOWERS AND THEIR MESSAGE IN COURTSHIP


RECEIVING AN INVITATION TO CALL


THE ETIQUETTE OF TELEPHONING


MAKING THE FIRST CALL


CONVERSATION AND SOME OF ITS USES


A PROPER CALL


THE PROPOSAL PROPER


THE HISTORIC ASPECT


ANNOUNCING THE ENGAGEMENT


THE BRIDE-TO-BE


THE ENGAGEMENT LUNCHEON


SELECTING THE BRIDAL PARTY


INVITATIONS AND WEDDING PRESENTS


DUTIES OF THE BEST MAN


THE BRIDE’S TEA


THE MAID OF HONOR


THE BACHELOR DINNER AND AFTER


THE REHEARSAL


THE BRIDAL DINNER


A CHURCH WEDDING


HINTS FOR THE CORRECT PEDESTRIAN


TRAVELLING BY RAIL


GOOD FORM ON A STREET CAR


IN THE SUBWAY


A HONEYMOON IN A SUBWAY


TRAVELLING UNDER STEAM


A CORRECT NIGHT IN A PULLMAN


LISTENING TO A SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA


CORRECT BEHAVIOR AT A PIANO RECITAL


IN A BOX AT THE OPERA


SOME BROADER ASPECTS OF PROHIBITION


THE COLLEGE GRADUATE AS DRY AGENT


PLANNING A DRY RAID ON A MASQUERADE BALL


A WORD ABOUT CORRECT COSTUMES


GOOD FORM FOR DRY AGENTS DURING A RAID


SELECTING A PROPER SCHOOL


CORRECT EQUIPMENT FOR THE SCHOOLGIRL


EN ROUTE


A JOURNEY AROUND NEW YORK


THE FIRST DAYS IN THE NEW SCHOOL


BECOMING ACCLIMATIZED


A VISITOR FROM PRINCETON


GOLF AS A PASTIME


AN AFTERNOON AT THE OLD FARM WITH THE DICE


CORRECT BEHAVIOR ON A PICNIC


BOXING IN AMERICAN SOCIETY


BRIDGE WHIST


FORMAL AND INFORMAL DRINKING


A JOLLY HALLOWE’EN PARTY


INVITATIONS


RECEIVING THE GUESTS


HOW TO MYSTIFY


GAMES


CORRESPONDENCE


CORRESPONDENCE FOR YOUNG LADIES


COLLEGE BOYS


LETTERS TO PARENTS


A Correct Letter from a Young Lady in Boarding School to Her Parents


LETTERS FROM PARENTS


LETTERS TO PROSPECTIVE FATHERS-IN-LAW


A Correct Letter to a Prospective Father-in-Law Who Is a Business Man


LOVE LETTERS


A Correct Letter from a Young Man Traveling in Europe to His Fiancée


CORRESPONDENCE OF PUBLIC OFFICIALS


A Correct “Public Letter” from a Congressman


A Correct Private Letter of a Congressman


LETTERS TO NEWSPAPERS, MAGAZINES, ETC.


A Correct Letter from an Indignant Father to an Editor of Low Ideals


LETTERS TO STRANGERS


A CORRECT LETTER TO A FRENCH VISITOR


A CORRECT LETTER TO A BEARDED LADY


INVITATIONS


ACCEPTANCES AND REGRETS


FORMAL DINNERS IN AMERICA


TABLE MANNERS FOR CHILDREN


A CHILD’S GARDEN OF ETIQUETTE


ETIQUETTE IN THE SCHOOL


CONVERSATION AT DINNER


STEWART’S LIGHTNING CALCULATOR OF DINNER TABLE CONVERSATION


BALLS AND DANCES


MIXED DANCING


HINTS FOR STAGS

О книге

Язык

Английский

Год издания

1998-09-01

Темы

Etiquette -- Humor

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