Cupid's Middleman

CUPID'S MIDDLEMAN
John Alden was a celebrated Cupid's middleman. In presenting the cause of Miles Standish to Priscilla, however, he did not attend strictly to business as a jobber. He was not able to resist the lady when she asked: Why don't you speak for yourself, John? That famous question has practically made it impossible for the middleman to make much headway in the assumed part. Benjamin Hopkins, of Oswegatchie County, was not a traitor—perhaps because he never met the fair Priscillas face to face.
This story can teach no new lesson; it can only recall the ancient wisdom which filled Miles Standish when it was too late. In the poem by Longfellow, the Plymouth Captain says:
I should have remembered the adage— If you would be well served, you must serve yourself; and moreover, No man can gather cherries in Kent at the season of Christmas!
E. B. L.

Jim, it's years since you asked me to help you out in a love affair, I said. Has your old heart grown cold, shriveled up, or what's the matter?
You're right, Ben; it must be a long time back. But why don't you put out a few letters for yourself?
I wish I could get a dollar a ton for all I have written for you, said I; then I'd have a fortune and all the girls would be chasing me for my money.
Say, was it as bad as that, do you think?
Well, cut the price in two and I'd be satisfied.