The Ladies' Book of Etiquette, and Manual of Politeness / A Complete Hand Book for the Use of the Lady in Polite Society

A COMPLETE HAND BOOK FOR THE USE OF THE LADY IN POLITE SOCIETY.
CONTAINING
FULL DIRECTIONS FOR CORRECT MANNERS, DRESS, DEPORTMENT, AND CONVERSATION; RULES FOR THE DUTIES OF BOTH HOSTESS AND GUEST IN MORNING RECEPTIONS, DINNER COMPANIES, VISITING, EVENING PARTIES AND BALLS; A COMPLETE GUIDE FOR LETTER WRITING AND CARDS OF COMPLIMENT; HINTS ON MANAGING SERVANTS, ON THE PRESERVATION OF HEALTH, AND ON ACCOMPLISHMENTS.
AND ALSO
USEFUL RECEIPTS FOR THE COMPLEXION, HAIR, AND WITH HINTS AND DIRECTIONS FOR THE CARE OF THE WARDROBE.
BY FLORENCE HARTLEY, AUTHOR OF THE LADIES' HAND BOOK OF FANCY AND ORNAMENTAL WORK.
BOSTON: G. W. COTTRELL, PUBLISHER, 36 Cornhill.
Entered according to the Act of Congress, in the year 1860, by G. G. EVANS, in the Clerk's Office of the District Court for the Eastern District of Pennsylvania.

In preparing a book of etiquette for ladies, I would lay down as the first rule, Do unto others as you would others should do to you. You can never be rude if you bear the rule always in mind, for what lady likes to be treated rudely? True Christian politeness will always be the result of an unselfish regard for the feelings of others, and though you may err in the ceremonious points of etiquette, you will never be impolite.
Politeness, founded upon such a rule, becomes the expression, in graceful manner, of social virtues. The spirit of politeness consists in a certain attention to forms and ceremonies, which are meant both to please others and ourselves, and to make others pleased with us; a still clearer definition may be given by saying that politeness is goodness of heart put into daily practice; there can be no true politeness without kindness, purity, singleness of heart, and sensibility.
Many believe that politeness is but a mask worn in the world to conceal bad passions and impulses, and to make a show of possessing virtues not really existing in the heart; thus, that politeness is merely hypocrisy and dissimulation. Do not believe this; be certain that those who profess such a doctrine are practising themselves the deceit they condemn so much. Such people scout politeness, because, to be truly a lady, one must carry the principles into every circumstance of life, into the family circle, the most intimate friendship, and never forget to extend the gentle courtesies of life to every one. This they find too much trouble, and so deride the idea of being polite and call it deceitfulness.