The Etiquette of Engagement and Marriage / Describing Modern Manners and Customs of Courtship and Marriage, and giving Full Details regarding the Wedding Ceremony and Arrangements

By G.R.M. Devereux
Author of Etiquette for Women, etc, etc.
First published January 1903
This etext prepared from the reprint of March 1919 published by C. Arthur Pearson Ltd., Henrietta Street London and printed by Neill and Co. Ltd., Edinburgh.
The word Courtship has an old-world sound about it, and carries the mind back to the statelier manners of bygone days. Nowadays we have no leisure for courtly greetings and elaborately-turned compliments. We are slackening many of the old bonds, breaking down some of the old restraint, and, though it will seem treason to members of a past generation to say it, we are, let us hope, arriving at a less artificial state of things.
During the march of civilisation Marriage and the circumstances that lead up to it have undergone many and wonderful changes, though the deep-seated fundamental idea of having a mate has remained unaltered in essence.
Just as the savage of to-day steals or fights for his dusky bride, so did our own rude forefathers of past ages look to rapine and the sword as the natural means of procuring the mate who was to minister to their joys and necessities.
As the Chinese girl of the twentieth century is bought by her husband like a piece of furniture or a cooking utensil, so the child bride of ancient Rome used to take a formal farewell of her dolls and playthings, making a solemn offering of them to the Gods, before she was sold to the husband who was legally entitled to beat her if he liked, she being nothing but his slave in the eyes of the law.
No one has made a clean sweep of all the old formalities; there are still certain things which may and may not be done; and it is for this reason that a few hints on this ever new, ever-engrossing subject of Courtship and Marriage may be found helpful to those who are contemplating the most important step in the life of man or woman.
We are very free and easy now in England, though not quite as unconventional as they are on the other side of the Atlantic. We have abolished a great many of the false barriers erected by Mrs. Grundy or her predecessors, which kept young men and women from enjoying each other's society in an innocent, natural way. Of course there is no gain without a certain amount of loss, and while we have advanced in freedom we have retrograded in chivalry, deference, and courtesy.