Fables in Slang

PUBLISHED BY HERBERT S. STONE AND COMPANY CHICAGO & NEW YORK MDCCCCI
COPYRIGHT, 1899, BY HERBERT S. STONE & CO.
The Author and the Publishers wish to acknowledge the courtesy of Victor F. Lawson, Esq., in permitting the reissue of these Fables in book form, after their appearance in the columns of The Chicago Record.
SIXTY-EIGHTH THOUSAND
The Learned Phrenologist sat in his Office surrounded by his Whiskers.
Now and then he put a Forefinger to his Brow and glanced at the Mirror to make sure that he still resembled William Cullen Bryant.
Near him, on a Table, was a Pallid Head made of Plaster-of-Paris and stickily ornamented with small Labels. On the wall was a Chart showing that the Orangoutang does not have Daniel Webster's facial angle.
Is the Graft played out? asked the Learned Phrenologist, as he waited. Is Science up against it or What?
Then he heard the fall of Heavy Feet and resumed his Imitation. The Door opened and there came into the Room a tall, rangy Person with a Head in the shape of a Rocky Ford Cantaloupe.
Aroused from his Meditation, the Learned Phrenologist looked up at the Stranger as through a Glass, darkly, and pointed to a Red Plush Chair.
The Easy Mark collapsed into the Boarding-House Chair and the Man with more Whiskers than Darwin ever saw stood behind Him and ran his Fingers over his Head, Tarantula-Wise.
THE LEARNED PHRENOLOGIST