Get-Rich-Quick Wallingford / A Cheerful Account of the Rise and Fall of an American Business Buccaneer
A. L. BURT COMPANY PUBLISHERS NEW YORK
Copyright, 1907, by the Curtis Publishing Company Copyright, 1908, by the Curtis Publishing Company Copyright, 1908, by Howard E. Altemus
Published April, 1908
TO THE LIVE BUSINESS MEN OF AMERICA—THOSE WHO HAVE BEEN STUNG AND THOSE WHO HAVE YET TO UNDERGO THAT PAINFUL EXPERIENCE—THIS LITTLE TALE IS SYMPATHETICALLY DEDICATED
The mud was black and oily where it spread thinly at the edges of the asphalt, and wherever it touched it left a stain; it was upon the leather of every pedestrian, even the most fastidious, and it bordered with almost laughable conspicuousness the higher marking of yellow clay upon the heavy shoes of David Jasper, where he stood at the curb in front of the big hotel with his young friend, Edward Lamb. Absorbed in lodge, talk, neither of the oddly assorted cronies cared much for drizzle overhead or mire underfoot; but a splash of black mud in the face must necessarily command some attention. This surprise came suddenly to both from the circumstance of a cab having dashed up just beside them. Their resentment, bubbling hot for a moment, was quickly chilled, however, as the cab door opened and out of it stepped one of those impressive beings for whom the best things of this world have been especially made and provided. He was a large gentleman, a suave gentleman, a gentleman whose clothes not merely fit him but distinguished him, a gentleman of rare good living, even though one of the sort whose faces turn red when they eat; and the dignity of his worldly prosperousness surrounded him like a blessed aura. Without a glance at the two plain citizens who stood mopping the mud from their faces, he strode majestically into the hotel, leaving Mr. David Jasper and Mr. Edward Lamb out in the rain.
The clerk kowtowed to the signature, though he had never seen nor heard of it before— J. Rufus Wallingford, Boston. His eyes, however, had noted a few things: traveling suit, scarf pin, watch guard, ring, hatbox, suit case, bag, all expensive and of the finest grade.
George Randolph Chester
GET-RICH-QUICK WALLINGFORD
A cheerful account of the rise and fall of an American Business Buccaneer
"And the Bathroom Must Have a Large Tub"
Contents
GET-RICH-QUICK WALLINGFORD
IN WHICH J. RUFUS WALLINGFORD CONCEIVES A BRILLIANT INVENTION
WHEREIN EDWARD LAMB BEHOLDS THE AMAZING PROFITS OF THE CARPET-TACK INDUSTRY
MR. WALLINGFORD'S LAMB IS CAREFULLY INSPIRED WITH A FLASH OF CREATIVE GENIUS
J. RUFUS ACCEPTS A TEMPORARY ACCOMMODATION AND BUYS AN AUTOMOBILE
THE UNIVERSAL COVERED CARPET TACK COMPANY FORMS AMID GREAT ENTHUSIASM
IN WHICH AN ASTOUNDING REVELATION IS MADE CONCERNING J. RUFUS
WHEREIN THE GREAT TACK INVENTOR SUDDENLY DECIDES TO CHANGE HIS LOCATION
MR. WALLINGFORD TAKES A DOSE OF HIS OWN BITTER MEDICINE
MR. WALLINGFORD SHOWS MR. CLOVER HOW TO DO THE WIDOWS AND ORPHANS GOOD
AN AMAZING COMBINATION OF PHILANTHROPY AND PROFIT IS INAUGURATED
NEIL TAKES A SUDDEN INTEREST IN THE BUSINESS AND WALLINGFORD LETS GO
FATE ARRANGES FOR J. RUFUS AN OPPORTUNITY TO MANUFACTURE SALES RECORDERS
MR. WALLINGFORD OFFERS UNLIMITED FINANCIAL BACKING TO A NEW ENTERPRISE
SHOWING HOW FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS MAY DO THE WORK OF FIVE THOUSAND
WALLINGFORD GENEROUSLY LOANS THE PNEUMATIC COMPANY SOME OF ITS OWN MONEY
THE FINANCIER TAKES A FLYING TRIP TO EUROPE ON AN AFFAIR OF THE HEART
WHEREIN A GOOD STOMACH FOR STRONG DRINK IS WORTH THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS
THE TOWN OF BATTLESBURG FINDS A PRIVATE RAILROAD CAR IN ITS MIDST!
MR. WALLINGFORD WINS THE TOWN OF BATTLESBURG BY THE TOSS OF A COIN
BATTLESBURG SMELLS MONEY AND PLUNGES INTO A MAD ORGIE OF SPECULATION
Never in All Her Married Life Had She Enjoyed Any Position Approaching This
IN WHICH THE SHEEP ARE SHEARED AND SKINNED AND THEIR HIDES TANNED
J. RUFUS PREFERS FARMING IN AMERICA TO PROMOTING IN EUROPE
A CORNER IN FARMERS IS FORMED AND IT BEHOLDS A MOST WONDERFUL VISION
THE FARMERS' COMMERCIAL ASSOCIATION DOES TERRIFIC THINGS TO THE BOARD OF TRADE
A Larger Commission than Fox and Fleecer Had Ever Received in One Deal
MR. FOX SOLVES HIS GREAT PROBLEM, AND MR. WALLINGFORD FALLS WITH A THUD
J. RUFUS SCENTS A FORTUNE IN SMOKE AND LETS MR. NICKEL SEE THE FLAMES
MR. WALLINGFORD GAMBLES A BIT AND PICKS UP AN UNSOLICITED PARTNER
WHEREIN MR. WALLINGFORD JOINS THE LARGEST CLUB IN THE WORLD
"Your Fine Little Wife Here Swears that It Will"
THE END