High society
STOP!
No reader will be permitted to pass beyond this page who is not actually in society. This book is not for those who dwell in the gloom of mere respectability, or the blaze of sheer wealth. It is a pasturage intended solely for those who bask in the sunlight of the smartest society.
Those whose social standing could conceivably be classed with that of brewers, green-grocers, minor poets, munition magnates, linen drapers, provincial actors, and cubist sculptors, must not trespass within these covers.
BUT—
If your name appears in all the Social Directories; if you are a member of six or eight fashionable clubs; if you never plan a dinner without unpotting a pound or so of pâté de foie gras; if you never witness an opera except from an opera box; if you never go to the city except in an imported motor-car, why then just knock at the title page, open the door, walk in, take off your monocle—or your turreted tiara—and make yourself perfectly at home.
Reader, will you join a gay dance Of the younger Social Set, And, amid their merry May-dance, Personally pirouette? Don a garment, smart and snappy, Wear your most engaging smile, Banish boredom and be happy— In the world of chic and style.
Cedric woos Celeste—who dances— Vowing love that never dies; Ethel sees adoring glances In athletic Albert’s eyes; Peter—solvent as Mæcenas, Lures a mermaid to the shore, Telling her she looks like Venus, Which, of course, she’s heard before.
You may dance, while Signor Cupid Fiddles an entrancing tune; Or, if you find jazzing stupid, There are gardens—and a moon! Life, and all its animation Bids us join the mad mêlée, And, to use an old quotation, Gather rose-buds while we may.
Every make of merry mortal, Wise or otherwise, is here, And this page is but the portal Of another world made clear. Yes, a world, and you may buy it In this giddy, gaudy book, Though, of course, I can’t deny it Has a rather Fish-y look!
G. S. C.
The artist is the director, the book a many-colored whirligig. Group after group revolves before us, while the artist smiles with an arch, faintly satiric smile, pointing out to us the weaknesses of the participants in this sacred social world, a delightfully gay throng, constantly occupied in singing, cajoling, feasting, playing, and dancing. Each of the characters in this book recognizes only one duty toward himself—not to be bored—and one law toward his neighbors—not to bore them. The wheel of the merry-go-round turns again; color is blurred with color; figure succeeds figure. Montez, Monsieur, montez, Madame. The show begins.
George S. Chappell
Frank Crowninshield
Dorothy Parker
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The Social Merry-Go-Round
Fish, And Her Work
THE HORSE SHOW
THE RESTAURANTS
THE ART SHOWS
THE FASHION FÊTES
AN OPERATIC DUET
HOME, SWEET HOME
HEARTS AND FLOWERS
THE SPELL OF MUSIC
LES TROIS CORYPHÉES
THE EIGHT HOUR NIGHT
MORNING—IN THE PARK
A LEGEND OF RUSSIA
THE SOCIETY DERVISHES
THE DAUGHTER OF HERODIAS
IN THE INTELLECTUAL SET
HEARTS AND DIAMONDS
THE RECEPTION COMMITTEE
THE ATTACK ON BOHEMIA
SUCCESS AT LAST
HE’S A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW
PEACE HATH HER VICTORIES
THE COTTAGE OF DREAMS
ALONE, AT LAST
WATER, WATER, EVERYWHERE
THE EXPRESS TO EDEN
AMOUR DE VOYAGE
OUR HERO
A HORRIBLE MOMENT
THE COMMITTEE OF WELCOME
THE EROTIC MOTIVE
THE GRAND TOUR
ON WITH THE DANCE
THE BITTER END
THE DANCE OF THE GHOULS
LONG MAY HE PERMANENTLY WAVE
NO COAXING
THE INFANT PRODIGY
THE MALE DUET
AMONG THOSE PRESENT
THE IDEALS OF ALGY
BACK TO NATURE
THE PEER AND THE PERI
DE PROFUNDIS
SUCCESS AT LAST
MILLY, THE LIGHT-WEIGHT
MILADY, THE WELTER-WEIGHT
THE LADY BANTAM
A CHARMING EVENING IN HIGH SOCIETY
THE CARELESS CRITIC
ART FOR THE ARTLESS
SACRED AND PROFANE LOVE
THE GREAT UNKNOWN
POVERTY AND RICHES
ENTER THE HERO
THE SECOND ENTRY
EXHIBIT C
THE ORDEAL BY AIR
THE SAD CASE OF PEGGY
ANOTHER BLOW
THE BITTER END
THE DAWN OF A NEW LIFE
THE ENDLESS CHAIN
THE FLAW
THE DIVORCE SPECIAL
OLD HOME WEEK
BACK TO THE START AGAIN
BEHIND THE “TIMES”
THE MONDAY-TUESDAY-WEDNESDAY BORE
THE BABY BORE
THE BOASTFUL BORE
THE DIETETIC BORE
THE THEATRE BORE
THE AWAKENING TO SPRING
HAIL, THE CONQUERING HERO!
THE PROFESSIONAL SIREN
LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT
THE DANGEROUS DÉBUTANTE
FIRST LOVE—AND THE NOBLE THEATRICAL GOD
GARDENING
LAWN TENNIS
INDOOR GOLF
SUMMER BOATING
CROQUET
THE FELINE TEMPERAMENT
THE MATERNAL TEMPERAMENT
THE SOULFUL TEMPERAMENT
THE ROMANTIC TEMPERAMENT
THE NAGGING TEMPERAMENT
THE PRACTICAL TEMPERAMENT
THE ARTISTIC TEMPERAMENT
THE UNSEEN HOSTESS
THE BISHOP’S MOVE
THE MUSICAL HOSTESS
THE WELL MEANING HOSTESS
THE VANISHING HOSTESS
PALM SUNDAY
GILDING THE LILY
TWEEDLEDUM AND TWEEDLEDEE
WHY BOYS LEAVE HOME
TIGER! TIGER!
THE ULTIMATE STRAW
CASUALS OF THE AVENUE
LE PREMIER PAS
BEWARE THE SOCIETY FAVORITE
BEWARE THE MODERNIST POET
THE FUTURIST—WITH A PAST
WITH THIS RING
THE RIGHT MAN—AT LAST
HERE ARE YOUR JEWELS
THE HUSBANDS’ REVOLT
WHAT ARE THE WILD WAVES SAYING?
THE WIVES’ UNION
THE WAYS OF A MAID
THE ULTIMATE HORROR
THE PORTRAITS OF OLD
GO TO THE AUNT
THE OVAL-SHAPED LADY
THE HUMAN EGG
THE NUDE SOUL
THE SHEEP—AND THE GOAT
THE SUIT AND THE SUITOR
SALT AND BATTERY
THE WORST IS YET TO COME
THE CROIX DE COUTEAUX
DANGEROUS DIANA
IT’S ALL IN THE LINES
CINEMA LOVERS
CAN YOU GUESS WHO’S ON THE STAGE?
DOUBLE ENTENDRES
FOR THE CHILDREN’S SAKE
CAN YOU GUESS WHO’S ON THE STAGE, NOW?
SPEEDING THE PARTING GUESTS
WHY DINNER WAS LATE
VISITORS-IN-LAW
THE LADY BURGLAR
THE HOOT-OWL
RUDENESS REPAID
A CATALOGUE OF WIVES
THE LAPLAND MODEL
THE SECRET SOLVED
THE SENSITIVE WIFE
THE “DRESSY” WIFE
THE HUMAN BANK ACCOUNT
Opening of the Opera Season
THE POOR, INNOCENT VICTIM
THE HOODOO-ED DOWAGER
CONSIDER YOUR AUDIENCE
REMEMBER YOUR MOTHER
TRY TO BE KIND TO THE CRITICS
THE BEAUTY OF MODERATION
MOTORING
CANOODLING
SLAVING
DANCING
SEA BATHING HAS BECOME THE KING OF ALL THE DRY SPORTS
THE PROPOSAL BY LETTER
THE PROPOSAL TERPSICHOREAN
THE PROPOSAL, A LA PASHA
THE PROPOSAL BY TELEPHONE
THE PROPOSAL BY PHONOGRAPH
LANDED AT LAST
THE NEWLY RICH ELEMENT
FOND MEMORIES
ON THE SIDE LINES
THE CINEMA VAMP
THE TENNIS HOUNDS
MIXED FOURSOMES
THE RECENTLY RICH
THE LURE OF THE STAGE
SEASIDE PANORAMA
GLIMPSES WITHIN
BARKING BLOSSOMS
ALONG THE BEACH
THE MOTHER INSTINCT
BUCOLIC BEAUTIES
THE FLORAL TRIBUTE
ANGELINE’S ADORABLE ADIEU
Transcriber’s Notes
