Familiar Faces

Misrepresentative Men
More Misrepresentative Men
Misrepresentative Women

Author of Ruthless Rhymes for Heartless Homes, Misrepresentative Men, Misrepresentative Women, etc., etc.
New York DUFFIELD & COMPANY 1907 Copyright, 1907, by DUFFIELD & COMPANY Published August, 1907 THE PREMIER PRESS, NEW YORK.

O my Author, do you hear the Autumn calling? Does its message fail to reach you in your den, Where the ink that once so sluggishly was crawling Courses swiftly through your stylographic pen? 'Tis the season when the editor grows active, When the office-boy looks longingly to you. Won't you give him something novel and attractive To review?
Never mind if you are frivolous or solemn, If you only can be striking and unique, The reviewers will concede you half a column In their literary journals, any week. And 'twill always be your publisher's ambition To provide for the demand that you create, And dispose of a gigantic first edition, While you wait.
O my Author, can't you pull yourself together, Try to expiate the failures of the past, And just ask yourself dispassionately whether You can't give us something better than your last? If you really—if you truly—are a poet, As you fancy—pray forgive my being terse— Don't you think you might occasionally show it In your verse?

O my Publisher, how dreadfully you bore me! Of your censure I am frankly growing tired. With your diatribes eternally before me, How on earth can I expect to feel inspired? You are orderly, no doubt, and systematic, In that office where recumbent you recline; You would modify your methods in an attic Such as mine.