Abroad with Mark Twain and Eugene Field
Tales They Told to a Fellow Correspondent
HENRY W. FISHER
NICHOLAS L. BROWN
NEW YORK MCMXXII
Copyright, 1922
by
Nicholas L. Brown
Marian Phelps
( Mrs. Phelps-Peters )
whose youth, beauty and cleverness delighted Mark Twain in his troubled Berlin days.
Along in 1909, Fisher and I were working for the same newspaper, Fisher as a special writer and I in the art department. We both subsequently escaped, but that is another story. Just then I happened to be working on the BIBLIOGRAPHY OF MARK TWAIN (Harper, 1910). Fisher told me that he was going to do some magazine stories on Mark and promised to let me have proofs, but a week or two later he went away on one of his periodical trips to Europe, and I lost track of him for several years.
Some time in 1921, I met him on Broadway, New York. “Hello, Fisher,” says I, “where have you been, what are you doing, and where are those flowing whiskers you used to sport?”
Henry W. Fischer
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CONTENTS
PREFACE
ABROAD WITH MARK TWAIN
FOOTNOTES:
MARK PHILOSOPHIZED ON WILLIE
MARK—REGICIDE
THE FUNNIEST SPEECH MARK EVER HEARD
MONARCHICAL ATAVISM
DEMOCRATIC MARK AND THE AUSTRIAN ARISTOCRACY
PHIL SHERIDAN’S FRIEND
“ELIZABETH WAS A HE,” SAID MARK
MARK—THE SLEIGHT-OF-HAND MAN
MARK AND THE IMPERIAL MISTRESS
MARK ON LYNCH LAW
RECOLLECTIONS OF KING CHARLES AND GRANT
MARK MISSED GALLOWS-LAND
THINK OF HER SORROWS
BREAKING THE NEWS GENTLY
DUKES AND UNBORN CAR HORSES
“PA USED TO BE A TERRIBLE MAN”
MARK ON THE BERLIN COPS
THE SAUSAGE ROOM
MARK’S GLIMPSE OF SCHOPENHAUER
“MURDERER” BLUCHER IN OXFORD
MARK’S HUMAN SIDE
AN AUSTRALIAN SURPRISE
MARK IN FRANCE AND ITALY
WHY MARK WOULDN’T LIKE TO DIE ABROAD
THE LEFT HAND DIDN’T KNOW
AMERICAN HUMORISTS
TELEPATHY OR SUGGESTION
TRYING TO BE SERIOUS DIDN’T WORK
ASSORTED BEAUTIES
MARK’S CHILDREN KNEW HIM
MARK, DOGS, DAGOES, AND CATS
THE TRAGEDY OF GENIUS
KILTIES AND THE LASSIE
A WISE PROVISION OF PROVIDENCE
THE AWFUL GERMAN LANGUAGE
ARTIST OR PHOTOGRAPHER
MARK INTERVIEWED THE BARBER ABOUT HARRY THAW
HIS PORTRAIT—A MIRROR
MARK, BISMARCK, LINCOLN, AND DARWIN
MARK AT THE STOCK EXCHANGE, VIENNA
MARK AND THE PRUSSIAN LIEUTENANT
MARK STUDIES THE COSTERMONGER LANGUAGE
MARK AND THE COSTERMONGERS
THE FRENCH MADAME
THE GREAT DISAPPOINTMENT
FOOTNOTES:
RHEUMATISM AND PRODDING
ON LITERARY FRIENDSHIPS
BAYARD TAYLOR’S GERMAN
GENIUS IN EXTREMIS
WHAT MAY HAPPEN TO YOU AFTER YOU ARE DEAD
KINGS IN THEIR BIRTHDAY SUITS
MARK ON LINCOLN’S HUMANITY
AN ENGLISH LOVER OF KINGS AND A HATER
MARK GOT ARRESTED IN BERLIN
BOOKS THAT WEREN’T WRITTEN
MARK ENJOYED OTHER HUMORISTS
MARK AND THE ENGLISH HACK-WRITER
MARK THOUGHT JOAN OF ARC WAS SLANDERED
RUNNING AMUCK—ALMOST
MARK’S IDIOMATIC GEMS
MARK AND THE GIRLS THAT LOVE A LORD
MARK’S MARTYRDOM
SLANG NOT IN MARK’S DICTIONARY
MARK “NO GENTLEMAN”
MARK, POETRY, AND ART
MARK SHEDS LIGHT ON ENGLISH HISTORY
MARK EXPLAINS DEAN SWIFT
MARK IN TRAGEDY AND COMEDY
“AMBITION IS A JADE THAT MORE THAN ONE MAN CAN RIDE”
MARK AS A TRANSLATOR
MARK IN ENGLAND
WHY MARK WAS UNCOMFORTABLE IN THE KING OF SWEDEN’S PRESENCE
MARK’S IDEA OF HIGH ART
MARK MEETS KING LEOPOLD—ALMOST
SIZING UP OF ARISTOCRACY BY MARK
THE BALD-HEADED WOMAN
WHEN A PUBLISHER DINES AND WINES YOU
MARK IN POLITICS
MARK ON “ROYAL HONORS”
AMERICAN WOMEN THE PRETTIEST
WHERE TAY PAY ISN’T TAY PAY
THE MAN WHO DIDN’T GET USED TO HANGING
STRAY SAYINGS OF MARK
EUGENE FIELD
EUGENE FIELD AND HIS TROUBLES IN CHICAGO
MORE OF EUGENE FIELD’S TRIALS IN LONDON
GENE, A “SUCCESS OF CURIOSITY”
DIRE CONSEQUENCES OF AMERICAN HORSEPLAY
FIELD’S LIBRARY OF HUMOR
THOSE GERMAN PROFESSORS
EUGENE FIELD AND NORTHERN LORE
LITTLE BOY BLUE
Transcriber’s note
