Scally: The Story of a Perfect Gentleman

E-text prepared by Juliet Sutherland, Emmy, and the Project Gutenberg Online Distributed Proofreading Team (http://www.pgdp.net)
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HOUGHTON MIFFLIN COMPANY Boston and New York
THE LEADING OBJECT PROVED TO BE A SMALL, WET, SHIVERING, WHIMPERING PUPPY
BOSTON AND NEW YORK HOUGHTON MIFFLIN COMPANY MDCCCCXV
COPYRIGHT, 1914, BY THE CURTIS PUBLISHING COMPANY COPYRIGHT, 1915, BY IAN HAY BEITH ALL RIGHTS RESERVED Published November 1915

Bettersea trem? Right, miss! My wife, who has been married long enough to feel deeply gratified at being mistaken for a maiden lady, smiled seraphically at the conductor, and allowed herself to be hoisted up the steps of the majestic vehicle provided by a paternal county council to convey passengers—at a loss to the ratepayers, I understand—from the Embankment to Battersea.
Presently we ground our way round a curve and began to cross Westminster Bridge. The conductor, whose innate cockney bonhomie his high official position had failed to eradicate, presented himself before us and collected our fares.
What part of Bettersea did you require, sir? he asked of me.
I coughed and answered evasively:—
Oh, about the middle.