The Business, As Usual

By JACK SHARKEY
Illustrated by TRATTNER
Giving Certain Powers the business for a change would be a joy—but it must not backfire—and here at last was the perfect recoilless diddle!
In 1962, the United States Air Force found itself possessed of a formidable tool of battle, a radar resistant airplane. While this was the occasion for much rejoicing among the Defense Department members who were cleared for Top Secret, this national-defense solution merely posed a greater problem: What should we do with it?
There must, said the Secretary of Defense, be some utilization of this new device to demonstrate to 'Certain Powers' that the world can be made safe for Freedom and Democracy!
'Certain Powers,' my foot, said the President. Why don't we ever come out and just say it?
Policy, the Secretary said. We've always walked softly in our Foreign Policy; especially softly in cases where we didn't have the 'big stick' to carry.
Well, grumbled the President, we've got the big stick now. What do we do with it?
We just want to shake it a bit, said the Secretary. No contusions intended, of course. We just have to let them know we have it, but are too kind-hearted to use it. Unless provoked, naturally.
I can see, said the President, that this new plane is burning a hole in your pocket. Suppose we do send it flying over Rus—
Mister President! said the Secretary of Defense.
The President sighed. All right, all right. Flying over 'Certain Areas,' then. Let's say we get it there. Fine. What do we do with it? Drop leaflets?