The Last Place on Earth

Naturally an undertaker will get the last word. But shouldn't he wait until his clients are dead?
By JIM HARMON
Illustrated by Gaughan
Sam Collins flashed the undertaker a healthy smile, hoping it wouldn't depress old Candle too much. He saluted. The skeletal figure in endless black nodded gravely, and took hold of Sam Collins' arm with a death grip.
I'm going to bury you, Sam Collins, the undertaker said.
The tall false fronts of Main Street spilled out a lake of shadow, a canal of liquid heat that soaked through the iron weave of Collins' jeans and turned into black ink stains. The old window of the hardware store showed its age in soft wrinkles, ripples that had caught on fire in the sunset. Collins felt the twilight stealing under the arms of his tee-shirt. The overdue hair on the back of his rangy neck stood up in attention. It was a joke, but the first one Collins had ever known Doc Candle to make.
In time, I guess you'll bury me all right, Doc.
In my time, not yours, Earthling.
Earthling? Collins repeated the last word.
The old man frowned. His face was a collection of lines. When he frowned, all the lines pointed to hell, the grave, decay and damnation.
Earthling, the undertaker repeated. Earthman? Terrestrial? Solarian? Space Ranger? Homo sapiens?
Collins decided Candle was sure in a jokey mood. Kind of makes you think of it, don't it, Doc? The spaceport going right up outside of town. Rocketships are going to be out there taking off for the Satellite, the Moon, places like that. Reminds you that we are Earthlings, like they say in the funnies, all right.