The Star-Sent Knaves

BY KEITH LAUMER
Illustrated by Gaughan
When the Great Galactic Union first encounters Earth ... is this what is going to happen?
Clyde W. Snithian was a bald eagle of a man, dark-eyed, pot-bellied, with the large, expressive hands of a rug merchant. Round-shouldered in a loose cloak, he blinked small reddish eyes at Dan Slane's travel-stained six foot one.
Kelly here tells me you've been demanding to see me. He nodded toward the florid man at his side. He had a high, thin voice, like something that needed oiling. Something about important information regarding safeguarding my paintings.
That's right, Mr. Snithian, Dan said. I believe I can be of great help to you.
Help how? If you've got ideas of bilking me.... The red eyes bored into Dan like hot pokers.
Nothing like that, sir. Now, I know you have quite a system of guards here—the papers are full of it—
Damned busybodies! Sensation-mongers! If it wasn't for the press, I'd have no concern for my paintings today!
Yes sir. But my point is, the one really important spot has been left unguarded.
Now, wait a minute— Kelly started.
What's that? Snithian cut in.