Potash and Perlmutter Settle Things

Books by MONTAGUE GLASS POTASH AND PERLMUTTER SETTLE THINGS WORRYING WON'T WIN
by MONTAGUE GLASS Author of Worrying Won't Win Harper & Brothers Publishers New York and London
Potash and Perlmutter Settle Things
Copyright, 1919, by Harper & Brothers Printed in the United States of America Published September, 1919

Nu , what's the matter now ? Morris Perlmutter asked, as he entered the office one morning after the cessation of hostilities on the western front.
Ai, tzuris! Abe moaned in reply, and for at least a minute he continued to rock to and fro in his chair and to make incoherent noises through his nostrils in the manner of a person suffering either from toothache or the recent cancelation of a large order.
It serves you right, Morris said. I told you you shouldn't eat that liberty roast at Wasserbauer's yesterday. It used to give you the indigestion when it was known as Koenigsburger Klops , which it is like the German Empire now calling itself the German Republic; changing its name ain't going to alter its poisonous disposition none.
That's right! Abe said. Make jokes, why don't you? You are worser as this here feller Zero.
What feller Zero? Morris demanded.
Zero the emperor what fiddled when Rome was burning, Abe replied. He's got nothing on you. You would fiddle if Rome, Watertown, and Ogdensburg was burning.
I don't know what you are talking about at all, Morris said. And, besides, the feller's name was Nero, not Zero.