The Adventures of a Modest Man

Copyright, 1904, by Harper & Brothers
Copyright, 1904, 1905, 1910, by The Curtis Publishing Company

This volume packed with bric-à-brac I offer you with my affection,— The story halts, the rhymes are slack— Poor stuff to add to your collection. Gems you possess from ages back: It is the modern junk you lack. We three once moused through marble halls, Immersed in Art and deep dejection, Mid golden thrones and choir-stalls And gems beyond my recollection— Yet soft!—my memory recalls Red labels pasted on the walls! And so, perhaps, my bric-à-brac May pass the test of your inspection; Perhaps you will not send it back, But place it—if you've no objection— Under some nick-nack laden rack Where platters dangle on a tack. So if you'll take this book from me And hide it in your cupboards laden Beside some Dresden filigree And frivolously fetching maiden— Who knows?—that Dresden maid may see My book—and read it through pardie! R. W. C.
Senilis stultitia quae deliratio appellari solet, senum levium est, non omnium.
There is a little flow-urr In our yard it does grow Where many a happy hou-urr I watch our rooster crow; While clothes hang on the clothes-line And plowing has began — And the name they call this lit-tul vine Is just Old Man. Old Man, Old Man A-growing in our yard, Every spring a-coming up While yet the ground is har-rrd; Pottering 'round the chickens' pan, Creeping low and slow, And why they call it Old Man I never asked to know. I never want to know. Crawling through the chick-weed, Dragging through the quack, Pussly, tansy, tick-weed Almost break his back. Catnip, cockle, dock prevent His travelling all they can, But still he goes the ways he's went, Poor Old Man! Old Man, Old Man, What's the use of you? No one wants to see you, like As if you hadn't grew. You ain't no good to nothing So far as I can see, Unless some maiden fair will sing These lines I've wrote to thee. And sing 'em soft to me. Some maiden fa-hair With { ra-haven } hair { go-holden } Will si-hing this so-hong To me-hee-ee!