Finders keepers

By Milton Lesser
Amhurst wanted to get married. But then an invisible ingenue moved in on his wedding day....
A TIME-TRAVEL TALE THAT TAKES TIME-OUT FOR LAUGHTER.
Eddie Amhurst watched the scissors get up from the dresser and march across the room. If they had marched on the floor it would have been bad enough—but not this bad. They marched across the air of the bedroom, one thin metal leg after the other, to where Eddie was sitting on the edge of the bed in his underwear.
They went snip, snip —once, twice, rapidly. Then they marched again across the air of the room and plunked down on the dresser.
In his right hand Eddie held a silky piece of black cloth. In his left hand he held a similar item. On the floor at his feet were two other pieces of black cloth. If you glued the sections together you'd have a pair of black silk socks, size twelve. They were so new that you could still see where the paper telling the brand-name and the size clung to one of them.
But they weren't much good as socks anymore. In his hands Eddie held what could have been a pair of black-silk spats except that no one wore black-silk spats. On the floor at his feet were two black-silk fingerless gloves.
Hey, George! Eddie called. George, come here quick.
George ran in from the bathroom, shaving-soap still on one side of his face. He looked at Eddie and the two pieces of black silk in Eddie's hands. He said, What the hell did you do that for?
Me? I didn't do anything.
Anyone can see that you went to the dresser, got the scissors, cut your socks in half, then put the scissors back on the dresser. What I want to know is why. Why?
I didn't, Eddie said lamely. Then he told George how the scissors had got up, marched across the room, and cut his socks.