Bimmie Says

By SYDNEY VAN SCYOC
Bimmie says people are stupid. Bimmie says he can help them—but they're not really worth his trouble, Bimmie says!
June 27, 1982 Bimmie said to do this, keep a diary. I said, Cows? He said, You deaf, woman? A book! Then I remembered, only I haven't seen one. It's for when he's famous. Then we can have it published anytime we need money.
I'd better tell about us. I'm short, sort of cute, and I cook good. Bimmie's tall and skinny, he likes to eat. He's 18, I'm 16. We got married 22 days ago. Instead of a fancy wedding, Bimmie told my folks, Give us money.
He needed the money for his laboratory. It's in the basement. It's what'll make him famous.
June 31, 1982 We got a cat and dog. They're black and two months old. I wanted red collars. Bimmie said, Don't waste my money, woman.
Bimmie wanted them down in his laboratory. He said that'd be proper conditions. I said, No, I'll leave if you do and you'll have to eat capsules.
The cat's he, the dog's she. Bimmie doesn't want them outside, ever.
July 3, 1982 We thought Bimmie's folks'd change their minds. But they said, Finally and conclusively, we won't. Bimmie says he doesn't want to go to college if they're stingy because we got married. He already knows everything important.
He wants me to finish school. I can finish in December. I thought when you got married you didn't have to, just slept late and fixed your hair.
July 9, 1982 The puppy's Susta, the cat's Sup. Susta's jealous because Sup jumps on the couch, and she can't.
Bimmie'll have to make pills for Susta. She hides from his needle. She'll be small. That's good, Bimmie says.