Parodies of the works of English & American authors, vol. I
COLLECTED AND ANNOTATED BY
WALTER HAMILTON,
Fellow of the Royal Geographical and Royal Historical Societies; Author of A History of National Anthems and Patriotic Songs, A Memoir of George Cruikshank; The Poets Laureate of England; The Æsthetic Movement in England, etc.
We maintain that, far from converting virtue into a parodox, and degrading truth by ridicule, PARODY will only strike at what is chimerical and false; it is not a piece of buffoonery so much as a critical exposition. What do we parody but the absurdities of writers, who frequently make their heroes act against nature, common-sense, and truth? After all, it is the public, not we, who are the authors of these PARODIES. D'ISRAELI'S Curiosities of Literature.
VOLUME I, CONTAINING PARODIES OF THE POEMS OF ALFRED, LORD TENNYSON, HENRY WADSWORTH LONGFELLOW, BRET HARTE, THOMAS HOOD, AND THE REVEREND C. WOLFE.
REEVES & TURNER, 196, STRAND, LONDON, W.C.
1884.
Le sujet que l'on entreprend de parodier doit toujours être un ouvrage connu, célèbre, estimé. La critique d'une pièce médiocre ne peut jamais devenir intéressante, ni piquer la curiosité. Il faut que l'imitation soit fidèle, que les plaisantéries naissent du fond des choses, et paraissent s'être présentées d'elles-mêmes, sans avoir coûté aucune peine.
Mémoire sur l'origine de la Parodie, etc. Par M. l' Abbé Sallier , 1733.
It was because Homer was the most popular poet, that he was most susceptible of the playful honours of the Greek parodist; unless the prototype is familiar to us, a parody is nothing! ISAAC D'ISRAELI.
THOBURN & CO., St. Bride's Steam Press, 136, Salisbury Square, Fleet Street, London, E.C.
When this Collection was originally projected, it seemed so unlikely to receive much support from the general public that it was intended to publish a few only of the best Parodies of each author. After the issue of the first few numbers, however, it became evident that a hit—a palpable hit— had been made, the sale rapidly increased, and subscribers not only expressed their desire that the collection should be made as nearly complete as possible, but by the loans of scarce books, and copies of Parodies, helped to make it so. This involved an alteration in the original arrangement, and as it would have been monotonous to fill a whole number of sixteen pages with parodies of one short poem, such as those on Excelsior, or Wolfe's Ode, it became necessary to spread them over several numbers. In the Index, which has been carefully compiled, references will be found, under the titles of the original Poems, to all the parodies mentioned. In all cases, where it has been possible to do so, full titles and descriptions of the works quoted from, have been given; any omission to do this has been unintentional, and will be at once rectified on the necessary information being supplied. To the following gentlemen I am much indebted for assistance in the formation of this collection, either by granting permission to quote from their works, or by their original contributions:—Messrs. Lewis Carroll (author of Alice's Adventures in Wonderland ), G. P. Beckley, James Gordon, John Lane, J. W. Morris, Walter Parke (author of The Lays of the Saintly ), H. Cholmondeley Pennell (author of Puck on Pegasus ), Major-General Rigaud, Edward Simpson, G. R. Sims, Basil H. Soulsby, Edward Walford, M.A. (Editor of The Antiquarian Magazine ), J. W. Gleeson White, W. H. K. Wright, Public Library, Plymouth, and John Whyte, Public Library, Inverness. A great deal of bibliographical information was sent me by my late lamented friend, the learned and genial Mr. William Bates, Editor of The Maclise Portrait Gallery; his brother, Mr. A. H. Bates; the Rev. T. W. Carson, of Dublin; and Miss Orton, have also given me valuable assistance. In a few cases where parodies are to be found in easily accessible works, extracts only have been quoted, or references given; but it is intended in future, wherever permission can be obtained, to give each parody in full, as they are found to be useful for public entertainments, and recitations. When the older masters of our Literature are reached, a great deal of curious and amusing information will be given, and it is intended to conclude with a complete bibliographical account of PARODY, with extracts and translations from all the principal works on the topic. Whilst arranging the present volume, I have been gathering materials for those to come, which will illustrate the works of those old writers whose names are familiar in our mouths as household words. Much that is not only quaint and amusing will thus be collected, whilst many illustrations of our literature, both in prose and verse, which are valuable to the student, will for the first time be methodically arranged, annotated, and published in a cheap and accessible form.
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PREFACE.
INDEX.
TIMBUCTOO.—PART I.
ORIANA.
MARIANA.
THE WEDDING DRESS.
CAROLINE.
THE LAUREATE.
THE MERMAID.
THE POET (OF THE PERIOD).
MATRIMONIAL EXPEDIENCY.
MAUD.
THE WHITEBAIT-EATERS.
CHORIC SONG.
A DREAM OF FAIR WOMEN.
An Extract from the original MARGARET.
MARY ANN.
THE BITER BIT.
THE MAY QUEEN CORRECTED—May, 1879.
CARTED AWAY.
THE MAY OF THE QUEEN.
THE PLAY KING.
A MEDLEY FOR MONDAY.
VOYAGE DE GUILLAUME.—A FRAGMENT.
THE MODERN LADY GODIVA.
BREAK, BREAK, BREAK.
TO MY SCOUT.
THE BATHER'S DIRGE.
THE MUSICAL PITCH.
TENNYSON AT BILLINGSGATE IN 1882.
BACCHANALIAN DREAMINGS.
THE NEW ŒNONE.—AN EPIC FRAGMENT.
THE BOW STREET GRANGE.
THE BALLAD OF BOREÄNA.
THE PALACE OF ART.
ELECTIONS' EVE!
A DREAM OF FAIR WOMEN.
THE LAY OF THE LOVELORN.
VAUXHALL.
A CHARACTER.
RICHMOND, 1856.
MAUD IN THE GARDEN.
ANTI-MAUD.
BARON ALFRED VERE DE VERE.
HOME THEY BROUGHT.
THE RECOGNITION.
IN IMMEMORIAM.
A FAREWELL.
A FAREWELL.
ODE TO ALDGATE PUMP.
THE UNDERGRAD.
THE TINKER.
THE RINKER
CHARGE OF THE LIGHT (IRISH) BRIGADE.
A WELCOME TO ALEXANDRA.
BRITANNIA'S WELCOME TO THE ILLUSTRIOUS STRANGER.
THE INSTITUTION OF MECHANICAL ENGINEERS.
THE TWO HUNDRED.
"THE HALF HUNDRED" (OF COALS).
THE DOCTOR'S HEAVY BRIGADE.
L'ENVOY.
AT THE MAGDALEN GROUND.
CHARGE OF THE FAIR BRIGADE.
THE CHARGE OF THE "BUSTLE."
OUR BOYS.
THE CHARGE OF THE "RAD." BRIGADE.
A LAY OF THE LAW COURTS.
THE LATEST CHARGE.
THE REVENGE.
RETRIBUTION—A XIXTH CENTURY BALLAD OF THE SLOE.
SLOPS ALL ROUND!
DRINKS ALL ROUND.
THE LAUREATE'S LAST LYRIC; OR, NORTHAMPTON' FREEMEN.
SIR EGGNOGG.
THE PLAYERS.
1865-1866.
A PARODY,
"THE VICTIM."
THE THREE COURSES OF ACHILLES.
UNFORTUNATE MISS BAILEY.
PUNCH TO SALISBURY.
THE RINKER'S SOLACE.
BEHIND TIME.
A LAUREATE'S LOG.
COUSIN AMY'S VIEW.
SPECIMENS OF MODERN POETS.
THE HEPTALOGIA; OR, THE SEVEN AGAINST SENSE. A CAP WITH SEVEN BELLS.
THE CHARGE OF THE LIGHT BRIGADE.
THE CHARGE OF THE GOWNSMEN.
"THE CHARGE OF THE LIGHT BALLET."
TRAGIC EPISODE IN AN OMNIBUS.
THE LAUREATE IN PARLIAMENT.
A DREAM OF QUEER WOMEN.
A DREAM OF FAIR WOMEN AND OTHERS.
A DREAM OF FAIR WOMEN.
THE LAY OF THE SEVENTH TOURNAMENT.
THE BACHELOR'S RETURN.
TIT FOR TAT.
THE CLERK.
THE BUGLE SONG.
SONG OF THE IRWELL.
THE BAGGAGE MAN.
HARD TIMES.
THE SPITEFUL LETTER.
FROM A.....N S......E.
FROM W..T W..TM..N.
SONG OF THE UNSUCCESSFUL STOCK EXCHANGE SPECULATOR
THE LAWYER'S SOLILOQUY.
A TENNYSONIAN LYRIC.
THE EXCURSION TRAIN.
THE MINISTERS AT GREENWICH.
THE AMIABLE DUN.
A PSALM OF LIFE ASSURANCE.
THE PSALM OF FICTION.
MISS M. TO MR. GREEN.
BACHELOR'S LIFE.
THE MAIDEN'S DREAM OF LIFE.
THE MONTHLY PARODIES.
LONGFELLOW.
A NOBLE AMBITION.
THE LIBERAL PSALM OF LIFE.
A PSALM OF LIFE AT SIXTY.
TO MY SCOUT AT BREAKFAST.
A FRAGMENT.
BEWARE!
"TAKE CARE."
BEWARE!
BEWARE!
THE VILLAGE BLACKSMITH.
THE VILLAGE BLACKSMITH AS HE IS.
THE NIGHT POLICEMAN.
THE VILLAGE GROG SHOP.
THE ENGLISH JUDGE.
THE VILLAGE BEAUTY.
THE BRITISH M. P.
THE VILLAGE PAX.
THE VILLAGE WOODMAN.
HIAWATHA.
APOLOGY FOR THERE BEING NO PREFACE.
THE SONG OF DROP O' WATHER.
SONG OF IN-THE-WATER.
SONG OF LOWER-WATER.
THE WALLFLOWERS.
THE SONG OF NICOTINE.
THE BUMP SUPPER.
THE LEGEND OF KEN-E-LI.
THE SONG OF THE BEETLE.
THE HUNTING OF CETEWAYO.
HIAWATHA'S PHOTOGRAPHING.
THE LAWN-TENNIS PARTY AT PEPPERHANGER.
THE SONG OF HIAWATHA.
SHORTFELLOW SUMS UP LONGFELLOW.
THE WAGNER FESTIVAL.
EXCELSIOR.
EXCELSIOR IN "PIDGIN ENGLISH."
TOPSIDE GALAH!
EXEXOLOR.
THE THEATRE.
EXCELSIOR.
"CLEAN YOUR DOOR-STEP, MARM?"
YE MAYDEN AND YE EGGE.
THOSE HORRID SCHOOLS.
THAT THIRTY-FOUR.
TOBACCO SMOKE!
"OBSTRUCTIONISTS."
ENDYMION.
A "COMMON" GRIEVANCE; OR, OUR OPEN SPACES AND OUR ÆDILES.
13, CROSS CHEAPING.
PILOSAGINE.
OZOKERIT.
CURFEW.
CLOSE OF THE SEASON.
THE END.
THE BRIDGE.
THE RINK.
THE WHITEFRIARGATE BRIDGE.
SUNSET.
THE SLAVE'S DREAM.
THE SWELL'S DREAM; OR, WHAT HIS HEIR WOULD LIKE TO BRING ABOUT.
SONG OF THE SILENT LAND.
SONG OF THE IRISH LAND!
THE NORMAN BARON.
THE REPENTANT BARON.
ODE TO TOBACCO.
THE DERBY WEEK.
QUEEN SIGRID THE HAUGHTY.
THE SAGA OF THE SKATERMAN.
NAUVOO.
THE SEWING-MACHINE.
THE SONG OF BIG BEN.
THE LORDS.
THE COMMONS.
THE SONG OF PAHTAHQUAHONG.
PIAMATER.
A PLUMBER.
THE POETS ON THE MARRIAGE WITH A DECEASED WIFE'S SISTER BILL.
DYSPEPSIA.
THE FATE OF THE WINTER RIDER.
THE SETTLER'S VERSION OF EXCELSIOR.
WHAT IS IN AN AIM.
PICNIC-ALINE.
TOWN AND GOWN.
A VOICE FROM THE FAR WEST,
SISTER BEATRICE (A.D. uncertain).
THE BURIAL OF SIR JOHN MOORE.
LES FUNÉRAILLES DE BEAUMANOIR.
"GRAVE SENTIT ARATRUM."
PARODY ON "THE BURIAL OF SIR JOHN MOORE."
THE FLIGHT OF O'NEILL, THE INVADER OF CANADA.
"RUNNING HIM IN."
THE MURDER OF "MACBETH."
THE BURIAL OF THE TITLE, "QUEEN."
THE BURIAL OF THE MASHER.
NEVER JOHN MOORE; OR, THE REJECTED SUITOR.
TRIALS AND TROUBLES OF A TOURIST.
THE SONG OF THE SPURT.
THE DRIPPING SHEET.
SONG OF THE SHEET.
THE SONG OF THE STREET.
THE SONG OF THE STUMP.
THE SONG OF THE FLIRT.
THE SONG OF THE WIRE.
THE SONG OF LOVE.
THE SONG OF THE CRAM.
THE SLAVE OF THE PEN.
THE SONG OF THE SWORD.
THE SONG OF A SOT.
THE SONG OF "THE CASE."
THE SONG OF THE TURK IN 1877.
THE SONG OF THE FLIRT.
THE JANITOR'S SONG.
THE SONG OF THE SHIRK.
THE BROOD ON THE BEARD.
"THE SONG OF THE DIRT."
THE WAIL OF A PROOF-READER.
THE BITTER CRY!
I REMEMBER, I REMEMBER.
NURSERY REMINISCENCES.
A REMINISCENCE.
I REMEMBER, I REMEMBER.
THE BRIDGE OF SIGHS.
ONE MORE UNFORTUNATE.
THE HAIR OF THE DEAD.
THE RINK OF SIGHS.
THE LAST APPEAL, 1878.
BOOTS OF SIZE.
THE SONG OF THE LINES.
THE SONG OF THE DRUNKARD.
THE SONG OF "THE PRICKLY HEAT."
ABOUT THE WEATHER.
THE DREAM OF EUGENE ARAM.
THE FALL OF THE EMINENT I.
FIRST PRIZE.
SECOND PRIZE.
A NICE YOUNG MAN FOR A SMALL PARTY.
A FEW WORDS ON POETS IN GENERAL, AND ONE IN PARTICULAR.
THE HAUNTED LIMBO.
PLAIN LANGUAGE FROM TRUTHFUL JAMES.
THE HEATHEN PASS-EE.
A KISS IN THE DARK.
THAT GERMANY JEW
ST. DENYS OF FRANCE (A.D. 272).
THAT INFIDEL EARL!
FURTHER LANGUAGE FROM TRUTHFUL JAMES.
REMARKS ABOUT OTHELLO.
TRUTHFUL JAMES'S SONG OF THE SHIRT.
THE BLOOMIN' FLOWER OF RORTY GULCH.
A MOONLIGHT FLIT.
THE BURIAL OF PANTOMIME.
THE BURIAL OF PHILIP VAN ARTEVELDE.
THE BURIAL OF THE BILLS.
A TALE OF A TUB.
Alfred, Lord Tennyson.
THE HAYMARKET THEATRE ON THE OCCASION OF THE REVIVAL OF A DULL OLD FIVE-ACT PLAY.
THE EXILED LONDONER.
LORD TOMNODDY IN THE FINAL SCHOOLS.
A FRAGMENT.
AUGUST THE TWELFTH.
MALA-FIDE TRAVELLERS.
A FRAGMENT—COMPOSED IN A DREAM.
THE M.P. ON THE RAILWAY COMMITTEE.
CIRCUMSTANCE.
CIRCUMSTANCE.
THE PALACE OF ART.
THE PALACE OF ART.
THE WAR.
CAPTAIN FALCON OF THE GUARDS.
THE RUSSIAN CZAR.
LADY CLARA VERE DE VERE;
LADY CLARA IN THE SOUTH.
A MAY DREAM OF THE FEMALE EXAMINATION.
MRS. HENRY FAWCETT ON THE UNIVERSITY EDUCATION OF WOMEN, APRIL, 1884.
THE DRAY QUEEN.
THE DRAY QUEEN.
THE MAY QUEEN.
THE SIGHT-SEEING EMPEROR.
THE PENGE MYSTERY TRIAL.
THE WELSHER'S LAMENT.
THE MODERN MAY QUEEN.
THE MAY EXAM.
NEW-YEAR'S EVE.
CONCLUSION.
THE PREMIER'S LAMENT.
THE NEW LORD MAYOR.
THE LORD MAYOR TO THE LADY MAYORESS.
THE LAST LORD MAYOR TO HIS FAVOURITE BEADLE.
THE EVE OF THE GENERAL ELECTION.
TORY LORD TO DITTO DITTO ON THE EVE OF THE INTRODUCTION OF THE FRANCHISE BILL INTO THE UPPER HOUSE.
ON THE EVE OF A DEBATE ON THE FRANCHISE BILL.
THE PREMIER TO MRS. GLADSTONE.
THE PROMISE OF MAY!
THE GLOBE THEATRE.
"THE PROMISE OF MAY."
NEITHER RHYME NOR REASON;
THE LAUREATE'S LATEST.
A DREAM OF GREAT PLAYERS.
THE LORD OF BURLEIGH.
THE FAITHLESS PEELER.
THE LORD OF BURLEIGH.
A BURLINGTON HOUSE BALLAD.
THE NEW UMBRELLA.
PAM UPON THE HEIGHTS.
LORD BEACONSFIELD AS TITHONUS.
WHAT LOCKSLEY HALL SAID BEFORE HE PASSED HIS OXFORD RESPONSIONS,
BATTUE SHOOTING.
GODIVA.
THE VOYAGE.
THE LAY OF THE DRENCHED ONE.
RHYME FOR ROGERS.
ENOCH ARDEN,
ENOCH ARDEN
ENOCH'S "HARD 'UN."
AFTER TENNYSON'S "GRANDMOTHER."
KEEPING TERM AFTER COMMEMORATION.
THE MAIDEN'S LAMENT.
THE (NORTH) BROOK.
PEERS, IDLE PEERS.
TO AN IMPORTUNATE HOST.
SONG.
SONG.
THE "LIGHT" CAVALIER'S CHARGE.
THE CHARGE OF THE COURT BRIGADE.
THE BATTLE OF BARTLEMY'S.
ON THE RINK.
HOW A HUNDRED GUESTS MET THEIR DEATH.
A WELCOME TO ALEXANDRA.
OZOKERIT.
IN MEMORIAM TECHNICAM.
A NEW CHRISTMAS SONG.
A NEW RING.
THE COMING MANNIKIN.
AN EXTRACT (NOT) FROM TENNYSON'S "MAUD."
GRANNY'S HOUSE.
THE SQUATTER'S 'BACCY FAMINE.
THE VOICE AND THE PIQUE.
THE PLAINT OF THE PLUMBER AND BUILDER.
SOLO BY THE PLUMBER.
LIBERAL LYRICS.
A LONG WAY AFTER LORD TENNYSON'S "BROOK."
THE TRAIN.
SONG SUPPOSED TO BE SUNG BY MR. BURNE-JONES.
COME INTO "THE GARDEN," MAUD!
ANGLING IN THE RYE.
A PARODY.
TEARS, IDLE TEARS.
AN IDYLL OF PHATTE AND LEENE.
THE PASSING OF M'ARTHUR.
GARNET.
JACK SPRATT.
THE LAST HAT LEFT.
THE CITY MONTENEGRO.
RIZPAH, 1883.
DISGUST: A DRAMATIC MONOLOGUE.
THE POETASTERS: A DRAMATIC CANTATA.
THE DEATH OF THE "CHILDERSES."
THE BURIAL OF THE SEASON.
THE BURIAL OF MY FELLOW LODGER'S BANJO.
THE FATE OF GENERAL GORDON.
THE FUNERAL OF ONE MORE VICTIM AT MONTE CARLO.
THE BURIAL OF THE DUKE OF WELLINGTON.
THE BURIAL OF THE BACHELOR.
THE MARRIAGE OF SIR FREDERICK BOORE.
A VISIT OF WORKING MEN TO THE HEALTH EXHIBITION.
THE REMOVAL OF THE HOUSE OF LORDS.
THE SPINSTER HOUSEHOLDER MARTYR, OR THE MAN IN POSSESSION.
THE MURDER OF A BEETHOVEN SONATA.
THE BURIAL OF THE PAUPER.
THE MARRIAGE OF SIR JOHN SMITH.
Thomas Hood.
THE SONG OF THE HORSE.
THE SONG OF THE POST.
THE SONG OF THE DANCE.
THE SONG OF THE SOLDIER'S SHIRT.
THE SONG OF THE PEN.
FOOTNOTES:
