The Best Nonsense Verses

THE Best Nonsense Verses, Chosen by Josephine Dodge Daskam
EVANSTON WILLIAM S. LORD 1902 Copyright 1901 WILLIAM S. LORD
The publisher desires to acknowledge the courtesy of authors and publishers in granting permission to reprint the verses contained in this book. To Mr. Guy Wetmore Carryl, whose Fables for the Frivolous are published by Messrs. Harper & Brothers; to Mr. Charles E. Carryl, whose verses appeared originally in St. Nicholas ; to Mr. Oliver Herford, whose Child's Primer of Natural History is published by Messrs. Charles Scribner's Sons; to the same author for the selection from Alphabet of Celebrities, published by Messrs. Small, Maynard & Co.; and Messrs. Harper & Brothers, the publishers of du Maurier's A Legend of Camelot; and to Messrs. Little, Brown & Co., who publish an edition of Lear's Nonsense Books.

OU are old, father William, the young man said, And your hair has become very white: And yet you incessantly stand on your head— Do you think, at your age, it is right? In my youth, father William replied to his son, I feared it might injure the brain: But now that I'm perfectly sure I have none, Why, I do it again and again. You are old, said the youth, as I mentioned before, And have grown most uncommonly fat; Yet you turned a back somersault in at the door— Pray, what is the reason of that? In my youth, said the sage, as he shook his grey locks, I kept all my limbs very supple By the use of this ointment—one shilling the box— Allow me to sell you a couple. You are old, said the youth, and your jaws are too weak For anything tougher than suet; Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak; Pray, how did you manage to do it? In my youth, said his father, I took to the law, And argued each case with my wife: And the muscular strength, which it gave to my jaw Has lasted the rest of my life. You are old, said the youth; one would hardly suppose That your eye was as steady as ever; Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose— What made you so awfully clever? I have answered three questions, and that is enough, Said his father; don't give yourself airs! Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff? Be off, or I'll kick you down stairs!