Harper's Young People, May 31, 1881 / An Illustrated Weekly

PHIL AND HARDWICK.
Old Slack Limestone had sat on the steps of the tavern in Dicksonville, and chewed tobacco and told stories until he had acquired the highest perfection in the doing of each. Neither of these roads to fortune is to be commended to youth; but as a proof that excellence is to be achieved by constant practice, Slack Limestone's example became a good one.
Now and then he would condescend to be useful for a few days. He had a specialty which was invaluable—he was good at laying turf. Perhaps anything that was destined to keep still for a number of years attracted Slack Limestone. That was what he would like to do. So when our lawn-tennis ground was being made, Slack agreed to leave the village door-steps to cool for a few days while he turfed the graded ground.
Horatio said that he was going to get Slack to tell him the story of little hunchbacked Philip while the turfing was going on, and we all sat round under the trees and listened. Slack spoke the purest Yankee. It was like the French of the Academy, the pure Tuscan of Florence; it was a language by itself.
Wa'al, said Slack, pushing back the fringed edge of a lattice-work that had once been a straw hat (Slack had better hats, for he was not poor, but when he relapsed into usefulness he always put on this hat, as a soldier does his helmet when going into action; it was a token to him of the demoralizing influence of labor)— wa'al, hunchbacked Phil's back's considerably straighter to me than most folks' backs, I tell you. When I comes to rekillect how an' where he got that 'ere back, it looks to me like a plumb-line. He's what I call real grit, anyhow.
It was some act of bravery in the war, I believe, said Horatio, adroitly pretending to lay a piece of turf straight with his foot.
No, it warn't, said Slack; you're jest about as much out of your perpendicler there as that 'ere piece of green swad is out of line. I always calkilates to lay my green swad by water-level, and not to kick it 'round with my boot.