Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 107, September 8, 1894

The Project Gutenberg eBook, Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 107, September 8, 1894, by Various, Edited by F. C. Burnand
E-text prepared by Malcolm Farmer, Ernest Schaal, and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team (http://www.pgdp.net)

( A Query to be answered during the Long Vacation. )
I am always reluctant to obtrude my personality upon the British Public. All the world know my address in the Temple, and so long as my learned friends who act as intermediaries between myself and the litigation-loving public bear me in mind, I require no further advertisement. However, I cannot close my eyes to Duty, and Duty points to the pages of a paper that may be aptly called the organ of the Bench, the Jury, and the Bar. I feel compelled to publish the following short story in the columns of that organ as a proof of the degeneracy of the profession to which I have the honour to belong. I shall be only too pleased if my Spartan-like conduct proves of benefit to my fellow-counsel. I write in their service, and without an eye—yes, I venture to say half an eye—to the main chance. My narrative will prove that ignorance, and, if I may be permitted to say so, unpardonable ignorance exists at the Law Courts. I have kept silent until the Long Vacation has commenced. My reason for this reticence is not difficult to discover. Had I taken the public into my confidence at an earlier date, it would be obvious that I might have suffered in professional status. Now that the Long Vacation has been reached, there is ample time for the process known as living it down. But I will not anticipate.
I must confess that I was not a little pleased the other day to learn from my excellent clerk, Portington, that a representative of the firm of Clogs, Judas, and Friars, were anxious to see me on a matter of business.
Have I had them as clients before? I asked my worthy assistant.
Oh, no, Sir, returned Portington. You see, for the last five years you have only had——