Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 108, June 22nd, 1895 - Various - Book

Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 108, June 22nd, 1895

It has been noticed by philosophers that a mere name will often lead a man to his ruin. Why, for example, was John Darley fined twenty shillings and costs at the Tynemouth Petty Sessions? He met a boiler-smith, Richard Rothwell, riding on a bicycle. Thereupon, without any apparent reason, he used abusive language, bashed the unoffending boiler-smith on the nose, brandished a knife, and shouted out, Come on!—I'm Johnny Darley, from Byker. There you have it. Residing, as he did, in a perpetual comparative, he naturally despised and loathed the positive byke. Hence his violent assault on its rider.
I observe, with deep regret, that Professor Lloyd, of Southport, has been fined for trespassing on a railway bridge at Preston. The Professor did not want to stay there. All he wished to do, and all that he actually did, was to dive off into the water below. He is an aquatic Professor, and informed the Bench that he was obliged to do these things to keep up his reputation.
I'll tell you a tale of Professor Lloyd,
Who dived off a bridge at Preston—
An act that the magistrates much annoyed,
Though he kept both his coat and vest on.
They said You mustn't repeat this joke,
Professor, or else you'll rue it.
But Lloyd, the Professor, he up and spoke,
And said, I'm obliged to do it.
Up on the bridge I stand for awhile,

Various
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Английский

Год издания

2013-05-18

Темы

English wit and humor -- Periodicals

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