Punch or the London Charivari, Vol. 109, September 28, 1895

Vol. 109.
September 28, 1895.

SCRAPS FROM CHAPS.
Aston-ishing!—The English Cup, won by the Aston Villa Football Club last year, has been stolen. Between boots and football a strong affinity exists; and it appears that a cordonnier , a member of the club, obtained a loan of the trophy, which he proudly placed in his shop window. On a pedestal, in the midst of all sorts and conditions and sizes of shoes, it stood in silvery splendour—a sovereign, as it were, o'er a kingdom of soles—and was the gaping admiration of the idle progeny of the neighbourhood, who, as is well known, evince ever an absorbing interest in all things appertaining to the rolling circle's speed. And the knight of the Soccus and Cothurnus, the adept constructor of Jessamy's slipper and Giles's hobnailed, the owner of the store, lulled himself to sleep singing Dear little Boot-ercup, Sweet little Footer-cup, and dreamed that the goal of his ambition had been reached, and that he had received the appointment of Soler and Heeler Extraordinary to all the Football Clubs of the United Kingdom. But, alas! he awoke one morn to find that a burglary had been committed, and that the Cup had vanished! It would appear, says the Liverpool Courier , that the thieves wanted the cup for the value of its silver! Oh! impossible! Gentlemen who thus acquire valuable articles of gold or silver do so not for the coarse gratification of an auri sacra fames , but rather for the satisfaction of an artistic craving, a laudable desire to contemplate, in poetic solitude, the beauty of the objects.
THE RETURN OF THE NATIVE.
Tam. Sae ye've gotten back, Sanders?
Sanders. 'Deed, aye. I've just gotten back.
Jamie. An' hoo did 'e like London?
Sanders. Od, it's an ootlandish place yon! They tell 't me they couldna unnerstaun ma Awccent!
John. Awccent! I never heard tell that Fife folk had ony Awccent!
BY PROXY.