Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 146, April 1, 1914

E-text prepared by Malcolm Farmer, Janet Blenkinship, and the Project Gutenberg Online Distributed Proofreading Team (http://www.pgdp.net)

We are sorry to hear that the Premier is suffering from a troublesome Gough.
Poor Mr. Asquith, as though he had not already worries enough, is getting into trouble for sending an exclusive statement to The Times . He now stands convicted by his own party of being a Times -server.
The Premier Magazine is announced for sale. Is this, we wonder, the Powder Magazine on which he has been sitting?
There are rumours that the Suffragettes are now preparing to blow up the whole of Ireland, as they find that that little country has during the past few days been distracting public attention from their cause.
An appeal is being made for funds to enable the battlefield of Waterloo to be preserved. A handsome donation has, it is said, been offered by one of our most enterprising railway companies, the only condition made being that the name shall be altered to Bakerloo.
It is so often asserted that a Varsity career unfits one for success in the bigger world that it is satisfactory to read that the Prince of Wales's income from the Duchy of Cornwall was £85,719 last year, as compared with £81,350 in the previous year.
The Association of Lancastrians in London held their annual dinner last week. It would have been a kindly and thoughtful act on the part of those responsible for the dinner had they offered a seat to Mr. Masterman, the Chancellor of the Duchy of Lancaster, who is now back in town.
Mr. Justice Scrutton has fined a man for saying Hear, hear, in court, and there is something approaching a panic among our Comic Judges lest some colleague on a lower plane of humour should fine somebody, for laughing in court.
It has been said that we English take our pleasures sadly. By way of compensation, apparently, we take our tragedies gaily. Under the heading Amusement Notes in The Daily Mail we find the following announcement:— At the Scala Theatre a new colour film is promised for Monday next, which is to depict in striking fashion the terrors of modern scientific warfare.