Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 146, March 11, 1914

E-text prepared by Matt Whittaker, Malcolm Farmer, and the Project Gutenberg Online Distributed Proofreading Team (http://www.pgdp.net)

Curate ( forte ). ... to have-and-to-hold.
Bridegroom ( deaf ). Eh?
Curate ( fortissimo ). TO—HAVE—AND—TO—HOLD.
Bridegroom. To 'ave and to 'old.
Curate. FROM—THIS—DAY—FORWARD.
Bridegroom. Till this day fortnight!
A contemporary describes one of the deported Nine as the Brain of the party. This is a distinction which just eluded Mr. Bain.
The Admiralty has decided that, in the place of the grand manœuvres this year, there shall be a surprise mobilisation. Last year's manœuvres were, we believe, something of a fiasco, but to ensure the success of the surprise mobilisation five months' previous notice is given.
Every man, says the Bishop of London, must be his own Columbus and find the continent of truth. This is the first time that we had heard America called the continent of truth, and one wonders where the present fashion of flattery is going to end.
We read that a Russian writer named Lunatcharsky has been expelled from Germany. Is it possible that he is a relative of Mr. Max Beerbohm's friend Kolniyatchi?