Punch, or The London Charivari, Vol. 150, April 19, 1916

Overworked and exasperated Colonel (who has told Adjutant to answer the telephone). 'Well, what the blazes do they want?'
Adjutant. It's the C.O. of the Blankshires, Sir; wants you to repeat the funny story you told him last night at mess.
The recent Zeppelin raids have not been without their advantages. In a spirit of emulation an ambitious hen at Acton has laid an egg weighing 5-1/4 oz.
The opponents of Colonel Roosevelt regard the advice given in the title of his new book, Fear God and take your own part , to be unusually moderate as coming from one who, whatever he may have said to the contrary, is very generally suspected of being prepared to take the part that is at present being played by President Wilson.
At a meeting of the No-Conscription Fellowship last week, Mr. Philip Snowden referred to the Conscientious Objectors as the Salt of the Earth. Perhaps, but we don't care to have them rubbed into us.
Germany has addressed a Note to the United States explaining that the Sussex could not possibly have been torpedoed for the reason that the submarine commander who sank the vessel had no difficulty in drawing a picture of her which closely resembled a totally different ship.
It is announced that the care of the great vine at Hampton Court has been taken over by the Office of Works from the Board of Green Cloth. It is rumoured that the latter body, which has been of late somewhat lost sight of, is to be entrusted with the general supervision of our aerial forces.
So successful have been the electrically-heated footwarmers supplied to the police of Pittsburg, Pa, that the State Department is said to be contemplating their adoption.
For shouting The Zepps are coming! a Grimsby girl has been fined £1. It was urged in defence that the girl suffered from hallucinations, one of which was that she was a daily newspaper proprietor.
While announcing in Parliament last week that the Zoo would have to pay the Amusement Tax the Chancellor promised to keep an open mind in regard to any representations that might be made on the subject. Mr. McKenna, we understand, has since received a strong representation from the hippopotamus, protesting that, while he and his fellow-pachyderms are commonly considered as instructive, their natural dignity precludes them from attempting to provide amusement in any form.