Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 150, January 19, 1916

E-text prepared by Jonathan Ingram and the Project Gutenberg Online Distributed Proofreading Team (http://www.pgdp.net)

In a description of Lord Kitchener's home at Broome Park we read that on the way there one passes a kind of crater known by the rustics as Old England's Hole. And a little farther on you come to the man who got Old England out of it.
A German professor advocates the appointment of State matrimonial agents. Elderly and experienced ladies and gentlemen should be employed to bring young people together, and unostentatiously to give them practical counsel, conveying their remarks tactfully, and in such a way as not to awaken the spirit of contradiction found in youthful minds; paying due regard, moreover, to theories of eugenics and heredity. The Winged Boy disguised as an antique German professor makes an attractive picture.
Some anxiety was caused in America by the news that the Ford Peace party was to meet in the Zoo at the Hague. But they have all emerged safely.
The Governor of South Carolina, who was one of the members of this heroic mission, left the Hague in a great hurry and returned to America before the rest of the delegates. Much curiosity is expressed as to what the Governor of North Carolina will have to say to him on this occasion.
In spite of the Government's official discouragement of any further rise in wages a demand for an increase of no less than 33-1/3 per cent, has been made by the knockers-up in the Manchester district. For going round in the chill hours of the morning and wakening the workers, these blood-suckers (chiefly old men and cripples) receive at present the princely remuneration of threepence per head per week; and they have now the effrontery to ask for fourpence.
The German Government has decided to raise the charge for telegrams. Wolff's Bureau has instructed its correspondents that in order to meet this new impost the percentage of truth in its despatches must be still further diminished.