Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 158, 1920-02-25

Another American, says a Washington despatch, has been captured by Mexicans and is being held to ransom. We deplore these pin-prick tactics. If there is something about the United States that President Carranza wants changed he should say so.
A contemporary states that the old theory, that when your ears burn it means that people are talking about you, is accurate. Upon hearing this a dear old lady at once commenced to crochet a set of asbestos ear-guards for Mr. Churchill.
The American gentleman who claims to have invented revues is shortly coming over to England for a holiday. Personally we should advise him to wait until the crime wave has died down a bit.
It is pleasing to note that in spite of the recent spring-like weather the Poet Laureate is calmly keeping his head.
In their last Note to Holland on the subject of the ex-Kaiser's trial the Allied Governments drop a hint that it was they and not Holland who won the War. It is impossible to be too definite on this matter.
Cotton, it is announced, has gone up to tenpence a reel. The new American whisky stands at the same figure.
Boys sing automatically, like parrots, declares the choirmaster of St. John's Church, Grimsby. His facts are wrong. The only thing automatic about a parrot is its bite.
So thirsty were the Americans on board, it is stated, that on her homeward trip the Mauretania was drunk dry two days out. To remedy this unsatisfactory state of affairs a syndicate of wealthy Americans is understood to be formulating an offer to tow Ireland over to the New Jersey coast if a liquor licence is granted to the tug.
There is no truth in the report that, as the result of a majority vote of the Dublin Corporation, the sword and mace have been replaced by a pistol and mitre.
We live in strenuous times. The Mad Mullah has been reported in action and Willesden has won the London Draughts' Tournament.
By the way, those who remember the Mad Mullah's earlier escapades are of the opinion that it is high time for him to be killed again.