Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 100, April 18, 1891

March 13 .—Left Billsbury this morning by nine o'clock train, and came back to London. Brought with me the Billsbury Standard , and the Billsbury Meteor (the Radical paper.) Both have accounts of last night's meeting. Rather different, though.
I suppose the Meteor people think that witty. When I got home, an awful thing happened. Mother, of course, wanted to see the papers, so I gave her the Standard , with which she was much pleased. She said it was evident I had made a wonderful impression, and that the Billsbury Conservatives were particularly sensible people! But, by some mistake, I left the Meteor lying on the drawing-room table. It seems that, in the afternoon, that sharp-tongued old hag, Mrs. SPIGOT, called. She saw the Meteor , took it up, and said, Dear me, is this something about your son? Mother, thinking it was the Standard , said, Oh yes—do read it, Mrs. SPIGOT; it's a wonderfully accurate account, RICHARD says; and that old cat read it all through. She then smiled, and said, Yes, very flattering indeed. After she had gone, mother took it up, and, to her horror, found what it was. She was furious. When I got home in the afternoon, I found her in a state of what Dr. BAKER calls extreme nervous excitement, with the Meteor lying in little scraps all over the drawing-room, just as if a paper-chase had been through there. She said, Don't let me ever see that infamous paper again, DICK. The man who wrote it owes you some grudge, of course. Such a scoundrel ought to be denounced. I said I quite agreed with her. Later on, met VULLIAMY at the Club. We spoke about Billsbury. He asked me, with a sort of chuckle, if I'd seen the Star , and advised me to have a look at it, as there was something about me in it. This is what I found in the column headed Mainly About People :—
Mr. RICHARD PATTLE, who is to be the Conservative Candidate for Billsbury at the next election, is a young man of twenty-six. At Oxford he was generally called 'PODGE PATTLE' by his friends He took a fourth class in History. His oratorical efforts at the Union were not very striking, but he rowed in his College Torpid, which was bumped four times.