Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 103, September 10, 1892

Because it is so much pleasanter to read one's work than to hear it on the Stage.
Because Publishers are far more amiable to deal with than Actor-Managers.
Because behind the scenes is such a disappointing place—except in Novels.
Because why waste three weeks on writing a Play, when it takes only three years to compose a Novel?
Because Critics who send articles to Magazines inviting one to contribute to the Stage, have no right to dictate to us.
Because a fairly successful Novel means five hundred pounds, and a fairly successful Play yields as many thousands—why be influenced by mercenary motives?
Because all Novelists hire their pens in advance for years, and have no time left for outside labour.
And last, and (perhaps) not least, Why don't I send in a Play? Because I have tried to write one , and find I can't quite manage it!
According to recent accounts, the attitude of the Salvation Army in Canada may be fairly described as Revolting.
Rising Young Physician ( who cured so many Patients in last year's Epidemic ). NOT MUCH CHANCE OF MORE INFLUENZA IN ENGLAND THIS WINTER, I FANCY!
His Wife. LET US HOPE FOR THE BEST, DEAREST!