Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 146, January 21, 1914

MAJOR-GENERAL LEONARD WOOD, chief of the U.S.A. General Staff, has reported that the American Army is, practically speaking, unarmed, and advises the immediate expenditure of £1,200,000 for artillery and ammunition. We fancy, however, that the present state of affairs is the result of a compromise with the American Peace party, who will not object to their country having an army so long as it is unarmed.
VICTORY FOR THE ORANGE WOMEN.
DRURY LANE INSTITUTION TO CONTINUE.
This should put heart into the Orange Men of Ulster.
We hear that, to celebrate the recent glorious victory in Alsace, the little town of Zabern is to be re-named Säbeln.
The Rev. N. FITZPATRICK, describing a visit to the Balkan States in a lecture at the Camera Club, spoke of the difficulties he had with his laundry. The same bundle of clothes was soaked in Roumania, rough-dried in Bulgaria, and ironed in Servia. We are astonished that the lecturer should have made no mention of mangling, which we understand is done well in the Balkan States.
The KAISER, we are told, has given instructions that his menus are in future to be written in German. What, by the way, is the French for Sauerkraut ?
Mr. ARCHIBALD, a member of the Australian House of Representatives, has calculated that the value of the property of the five million inhabitants of the Commonwealth is £780,000,000. We cannot but think it is a mistake to divulge the fact with so many dishonest people about.
I do like your eyes is the latest bright thought for a Revue title. To be followed, no doubt, by Her nose isn't bad, is it? and What's wrong with her toes?
FRENCH BATTLESHIP DROPPED.
Pall Mall Gazette .