Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 153, December 26, 1917

The Project Gutenberg eBook, Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 153, Dec. 26, 1917, by Various, Edited by Owen Seamen

E-text prepared by Jonathan Ingram, William Flis, and the Project Gutenberg Online Distributed Proofreading Team

Victory is only a question of keeping cool, says VON TIRPITZ. A long-suffering Fatherland anticipates no difficulty whatever in following his advice during the winter.
A semi-official message from Berlin declares that Jerusalem was evacuated because Germany's friends did not desire to see battles fought over sacred ground. The Sultan of TURKEY is reported to have wired to the KAISER to think of another.
America is still breaking all records. A native artist has painted a picture which is said to be sixty feet by nineteen, the largest miniature ever painted in America.
It is rumoured that at a provincial Tribunal the other day an applicant asked for a further six months' exemption as he had a wife and a position in a butter queue to maintain.
It seems useless to attempt to cope with the multiplicity of events in these days. Cuba has declared war on Austria; the KAISER threatens to make a Christmas peace offer, and Mr. GEORGE BERNARD SHAW has described himself as a mere individual. And this all in one week.
According to Dean INGE, Germany is in many ways the best governed country in Europe. She certainly seems to have a better governed clergy than ours.
Much relief is felt at the announcement that rather than endanger the Allies' solidarity Lord LANSDOWNE has promised not to agree with President WILSON again.
Bloaters have reached the unprecedented price of six-pence each. It was hoped that, at any rate, over the Christmas season they would remain within reach of the upper classes.