Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 156, April 30, 1919

The Project Gutenberg eBook, Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 156, April 30, 1919, by Various, Edited by Owen Seamen
E-text prepared by Malcolm Farmer, Carla Kruger, and the Project Gutenberg Online Distributed Proofreading Team

An alarming rumour is going the rounds to the effect that Printing House Square refuses to accept any responsibility for the findings of the Peace Conference.
Mystery, says a news item, surrounds the purchase of fifty retail fish shops in and about London. The Athenaeum Club is full of the wildest rumours.
The statement of the Allied Food Commission, that there are more sheep in Germany to-day than in 1914, has come as a surprise to those who imagined that the loud bleating noise was chiefly Herr SCHEIDEMANN.
Get your muzzle now! says The Daily Mail . It is felt, however, that the PRIME MINISTER scored a distinct hit by saying it first.
There is absolutely no reason, says a Health Culture writer, why Members of Parliament should not live to be one hundred. We think we could find a reason if we were pressed.
To-morrow a man in the North of England is to celebrate his hundredth birthday. He will be the youngest centenarian in the country.
At Ealing it appears that a rabid dog dashed into a pork butcher's shop and snapped at a sausage. The sausage was immediately shot.
The War Office, says a contemporary, is to have another storey built. In order that the work shall not cause any sleepless days it is to be undertaken by night.
It is reported that a burglar who has been drawing unemployment pay has decided to return to work.