Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 93, August 20, 1887.

( To be translated into French, German, and Italian, for the benefit of Foreigners. ) In the Train.
Continental Railways are disgracefully mismanaged.
This train does not travel at anything like the rate of our expresses.
The Flying Scotchman travels at 50, 100, or 150 ( according to fancy ) miles the hour.
I object to smoking; also wish all the windows to be opened or closed ( as the case may be ).
The foreign buffet does not equal our refreshment-rooms.
A plate of soup, half a roast fowl, and mashed potatoes cannot compare with what we call in England a ham sandwich.
I object to the lamp being shaded, or insist upon the lamp being shaded ( according to pleasure ).
Why are we stopping here? Why are we not stopping here?
It is disgraceful that we should stop here. It is disgraceful that we should not stop here.
If this occurs again, I shall write to the papers.