Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 93, December 24, 1887

edited by Sir Francis Burnand
From Old Morality.
Here comes a young fellow of excellent pith,
Fate tried to conceal him by naming him Smith.
Henley, Saturday.
Dear Toby, Ahoy!
Where are you bound? Haul on the bowline; brace up amidships; sling your hammock; belay all hands and stand by ready to pounce.
Excuse this little outburst. The fact is, I am about to cut for awhile landlubber associations, and am going cruising in my Pandora's box, or rather berth. My sea lingo is getting a little rusty, so I practise it wherever I have an opportunity, and thought you wouldn't mind my making one with you. I am going off to spend Christmas and New Year's time at Pau. You've heard of Pau, of course? I was first attracted to the place by coming across the beautiful line from Goldsmith—or was it Bacon?
Or by the lazy Scheldt or wandering Pau.
I'm not at all drawn towards the Scheldt. I never was lazy myself, and have no sympathy with laziness in others. But it is different with Pau, don't you know. I have been tied to the desk too long. I had a heavy time of it during the Parliamentary Session. They used to chaff me about being on the pounce. It is all very well, but the attitude is one which, preserved through successive nights, becomes exhausting. I have had enough of it, and feel a strong desire to wander. The Pau is wandering. Why should we not wander together, arm in arm as it were? Anyhow, I mean to try. So bear a hand with your lee-scuppers; haul round the mainmast, up with your hatches, and keep the helm hard down on the South-West-by-East-Half-East. I have pounced enough on the Parnellites. Now I shall pounce on Pau.
I feel the necessity for taking a good rest, for I know we are going to have it pretty stiff next Session. B-lf-r, who is getting more cocky than ever, goes about comforting us with assurances that he will make matters smooth. Is there anyone particular you can't abear? he said to me only yesterday, with an annoying air of patronage. Is there anyone of the Irish Members you would like put out of the way for the earliest and freshest months of the Session? If so, name your man, and I'll oblige you. I have got six of 'em lagged now, and there's a clear six weeks before Parliament meets. It's amazing how we can smooth the way by then.