Punchinello, Volume 1, No. 06, May 7, 1870

SATURDAY, MAY 7, 1870.
CONANT'S PATENT BINDERS for Punchinello, to preserve the paper for binding, will be sent, postpaid, on receipt of One Dollar, by Punchinello Publishing Company, 83 Nassau Street, New-York City.
Ye Yonge Manne is born, and his parents hasten with him to ye abode of ye BROWN, praying that he may be christened among ye upper tenne. And when ye Yonge Manne takes a daughter of ye upper tenne to wife, ye BROWN sees that he is married in ye BROWN his church. Ye BROWN demands if ye parents put in their coal in ye Summer time; and, being told that they do, he has ye Yonge Manne christened in his church, and when he grows up ye BROWN introduces him into Society. And when ye Yonge Manne he dies, ye BROWN arranges with all ye gardeners and black-goods men. And so, ye Yonge Manne, he is done entirely BROWN.
THE BACHELOR'S MOVING-DAY. AHA! A mere half-hour's bother! Suppose I were a father— A luckless wight, called Pa ! I'd say, Now curse the restless rover That first (despising clover!) Invented Moving-day! O yes! Especially, if moving Was likely to be proving (As usual) a mess! Why, look! You've got no end of articles. Sure to be smashed to particles, Or snaked off with a hook ! You've got Chairs, bedsteads, tables, crockery— (Recital seems a mockery!) You've got—what have you not? What's worse, Your things won't fit new places, Your wife won't like new faces— Your very maid will curse! Your hat And other things do fall so! And children they do bawl so! Good heavens! think of that, And think Of possible colds and fevers— Cartmen that prove deceivers— Nothing to eat or drink! Small bliss For bachelors so lonely—. Tired of one thing only: But they escape all this! And pray, What man with sons and daughters Don't sigh for bachelor quarters About the First of May?
Printed, according to Act of Congress, in the year 1870, by the PUNCHINELLO PUBLISHING COMPANY, in the Clerk's Office of the District Court of the United States, for the Southern District of New York.