The Scrap Book, Volume 1, No. 3 / May 1906
On the arms of the Prince of Wales are the words Ich dien — I serve. Thus he who stands next to the English king expresses in terms of service that gentle and knightly rank which is typified by his high position.
Speaking to a New York audience a few weeks ago, Mark Twain made passing reference to the communications which he receives from strangers who ask for his counsel or advice. Here is such a request, he said. It is a telegram from Joplin, Missouri, and it reads: 'In what one of your books can we find the definition of a gentleman?' I have not answered that telegram, he continued. I couldn't. It seems to me that if any man has just, merciful, and kindly instincts, he will be a gentleman, for he will need nothing else in this world.
Taking from his pocket a letter from William Dean Howells, the speaker went on:
I received the other day a letter from my old friend, William Dean Howells—Howells, the head of American literature. No one is able to stand with him. He is an old, old friend of mine, and he writes me: 'To-morrow I shall be sixty-nine years old.' Why, I am surprised at Howells writing that. I have known him longer than that. I'm sorry to see a man trying to appear so young. Let's see, Howells says now, 'I see you have been burying Patrick. I suppose he was old, too.'
There was silence. For a short time the great humorist and humanitarian stood there apparently oblivious to his audience, reminiscence working in his heart. Then, with spontaneous eloquence, he delivered the following noble tribute, which must rank among the loftier expressions of democracy—Mark Twain's conception of an ideal gentleman:
No, he was never old—Patrick. He came to us thirty-six years ago. He was my coachman on the morning that I drove my young bride to our new home. He was a young Irishman, slender, tall, lithe, honest, truthful, and he never changed in all his life. As the children grew up he was their guide. He was all honor, honesty, and affection. He was with us last summer, and his hair was just as black, his eyes were just as blue, his form just as straight, and his heart just as good as on the day we first met. In all the long years Patrick never made a mistake. He never needed an order; he never received a command. He knew. I have been asked for my idea of an ideal gentleman, and I give it to you—Patrick McAleer.
Various
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THE SCRAP BOOK.
A PLEA FOR THE HIGHER ECONOMY.
The Surgeon's Knife Needed.
KINDLY WORDS FROM PASTOR WAGNER.
JOSEPH'S CORNER IS NOW DEFENDED.
SOCIALISM'S LATEST MILLIONAIRE CONVERT.
THE RICH MAN IS NOW THE UNDER DOG.
GREAT SERVICES AND GREAT FORTUNES.
FOR THE REFORM OF ENGLISH SPELLING.
How Dr. Johnson Takes It.
THE PUNISHMENT TO FIT THE OFFENDER.
DOES COEDUCATION FEMINIZE COLLEGE?
PREDOMINANCE OF COLLEGE ATHLETICS.
SHAW RAGES AGAINST THE AMATEUR STAGE.
KAISER MAKES NEW TEN COMMANDMENTS.
Tin Pans for Complexions.
Only the Pig's Squeal Gets Away.
Drugs from Dead Cattle.
Glycerin a By-Product.
Wealth in Refuse Heaps.
Fortunes Lurk in Old Wool.
Where Old Magazines Go.
Valuable Gas Ran to Waste.
A TITLED INVENTOR.
Perfects His Wool-Comber.
Head Not Turned by Fortune.
HARD-FIGHTING EDITOR.
Competitors Tried to Crush Him.
His Announcement of His Marriage.
A BARBER LINGUIST.
Learned from Customers.
Faculty Not Easily Acquired.
GAMBLING IS A VICE, BUT—
Young Keene's Period of Poverty.
Turning Failure into Success.
COMPENSATION.
EASTER GOSSIP.
FAR FROM MARKET.
MOZART'S MILITARY MARCH.
THE BOSS.
CHANGES.
THE SULTAN'S THREAT.
A FRAGMENT.
REED'S WAY OUT OF IT.
CAUSE FOR ALARM.
A CORRECTION.
WHEN THE BIG STICK WOULDN'T DO.
DESERVED TO LIVE.
SENATORIAL COURTESY.
Faith in Fellowmen Awakened.
To His Majesty, the President.
Prosperity Stirs the Conscience.
The Shadow of the Great Hereafter.
Five Cents From Kansas.
FURTHERUPTOWN!
A MOVING BALLAD.
RÉNAN'S DEDICATION.
WHITTIER'S TRIBUTE.
FIELD'S APPRECIATION.
Mystery Enshrouds Czar and Sultan.
A Former Instructor's Impression.
"Nothing Disconcerts Him."
As Seen by Two American Business Men.
Andrew D. White's Somber Picture.
Scathing Censure From Tolstoy.
Unsteady and Self-Complacent.
The Majesty That Hedges a King.
William T. Stead's Opportunities.
THE COLD-WATER MAN.
THE ANGLER'S CHANT.
FISH LINES.
THREE FISHERS.
The Origin of Tinted Paper.
Asphalt as a Street Pavement.
Story Told by an Officer.
Tried to Sink Ship with Knife.
The Chief Accepted Ransom.
Sacrificed Seaman to Gods.
The Captain Was Merciless.
The Harvest of Death.
LINCOLN'S SPEECH AT GETTYSBURG.
1822
1823
1824
1825
1826
1827
1828
1829
1830
A CANADIAN VIEW OF PUNCH.
CONCERNING MRS. TAYLOR.
A SUGGESTIVE FAREWELL.
A QUIET NIGHT IN PLUSH.
FASHION NOTES IN ARIZONA.
MULE PAWNED FOR LICENSE.
THE REASON.
IT WONT HAPPEN AGAIN.
LACKAYE NEARLY A PRIEST.
Trip to Rome Abandoned.
Compliment for Brady.
ROYLE TOOK MANY BUFFETS.
Short on Words.
A Fortunate Rejection.
HOPPER WAS AN "ANGEL."
MISS ALLEN BEGAN AT TOP.
With "Joe" Jefferson.
Monotony the Bane of the Footlights.
WILSON CAME WITH CLOGS.
Instructor in Fencing.
Snatched Victory from Defeat.
LEAD, KINDLY LIGHT.
ABIDE WITH ME.
SPEAKING OF FLOODS.
STRONG WATER.
A SILVER-PLATED CAT.
A SUPERSENSITIVE HEN.
PEWTER'S INDUSTRIAL BUGS.
A HAIR-RAISING TALE.
THIRD INSTALMENT.