The Universal Reciter / 81 Choice Pieces of Rare Poetical Gems
OH! TELL ME, I SAID, RAPID STREAM OF THE VALLEY,
THAT BEAR'ST IN THY COURSE THE BLUE WATERS AWAY,
CAN THE JOYS OF LIFE'S MORNING AWAKE BUT TO VANISH,
CAN THE FEELINGS OF LOVE BE ALL DOOM'D TO DECAY?
AN ECHO REPEATED— ALL DOOM'D TO DECAY.
A DUOLOGUE. JOHN QUILL.
Mr. Wilkins. Mrs. Wilkins, of all the aggravating women I ever came across, you are the worst. I believe you'd raise a riot in the cemetry if you were dead, you would. Don't you ever go prowling around any Quaker meeting, or you'll break it up in a plug muss. You? Why you'd put any other man's back up until he broke his spine. Oh! you're too annoying to live; I don't want to bother with you. Go to sleep.
Mrs. Wilkins. But, Wilkins dear, just listen a minute. We must have that piano, and—
Mr. W. Oh! don't dear me; I won't have it. You're the only dear thing around here—you're dear at any price. I tell you once for all that I don't get any new piano, and Mary Jane don't take singing lessons as long as I'm her father. There! If you don't understand that I'll say it over again. And now stop your clatter and go to sleep; I'm tired of hearing you cackle.
Mrs. W. But, Wilk—
Various
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CONTAINING
THE
UNIVERSAL RECITER,
A
LITERARY BOUQUET,
CONTAINING
81 CHOICE PIECES
THE
UNIVERSAL RECITER.
WILKINS ON ACCOMPLISHMENTS.
THE MARINERS WIFE.
SNYDER'S NOSE.
THE MISER'S FATE.
SHE WOULD BE A MASON.
SAMBO'S DILEMMA.
PAT AND THE FOX.
TO MY MOTHER.
WHAT AILED "UGLY SAM."
SATAN'S ADDRESS TO THE SUN.
PATRICK'S COLT.
THE WORLD FOR SALE.
HOW WE HUNTED A MOUSE.
THE DYING HEBREW.
GIVE ME BACK MY HUSBAND.
THE ONE-HOSS SHAY; OR, THE DEACON'S MASTERPIECE.
THE INJURED MOTHER.
THE MILLS OF GOD.
THE MENAGERIE.
IGNORANCE IS BLISS
THE VULTURE OF THE ALPS.
FALSTAFF'S BOASTING
ON TO FREEDOM.
THE MURDERED TRAVELLER.
DAVID'S LAMENT OVER ABSALOM.
THE BOY ARCHER.
A VENTRILOQUIST ON A STAGE-COACH.
THERE'S BUT ONE PAIR OF STOCKINGS TO MEND TO-NIGHT.
A LOVE OF A BONNET
DRAFTED.
AN ERUPTION OF MOUNT VESUVIUS.
A PLEA FOR THE OX.
HERE SHE GOES, AND THERE SHE GOES.
DAVID AND GOLIATH.
THE WIDOW BEDOTT'S POETRY.
THE TWO WEAVERS.
MISS MALONEY ON THE CHINESE QUESTION.
THE BIG OYSTER.
A PRECIOUS PICKLE.
MY MOTHER'S BIBLE.
ENLISTING AS ARMY NURSE.
ONLY SIXTEEN.
THE GRIDIRON.
THE FORGING OF THE ANCHOR.
LORD DUNDREARY AT BRIGHTON.
THE VOICES AT THE THRONE.
MY FRIEND'S SECRET.
VAIN REGRETS.
ON THE SHORES OF TENNESSEE.
THE BLACK REGIMENT. PORT HUDSON.
THE THIEF OF TIME.
THE RAIN-DROPS.
THE SCOLDING OLD DAME.
THE GREEN GOOSE.
THE RED CHIGNON.
THE KNIFE-GRINDER.
PREACHING TO THE POOR.
THE PAUPER'S DEATH-BED.
A HORSE-CAR INCIDENT.
SOCRATES SNOOKS.
PAUL REVERE'S RIDE.
A PLEASURE EXERTION.
"WHICH AM DE MIGHTIEST, DE PEN OR DE SWORD?"
JUVENILE PUGILISTS.
THE OLD MAN IN THE STYLISH CHURCH.
THE OLD MAN IN THE MODEL CHURCH.
THE SAN FRANCISCO AUCTIONEER.
PAT-ENT GUN.
A PSALM OF LIFE.
THE LAST MAN.
THE MANTLE OF ST. JOHN DE MATHA.
THE POLISH BOY.
THAT HIRED GIRL.
THE BELL OF THE "ATLANTIC."
THE OWL—A SMALL BOY'S COMPOSITION.
THE FLOWERS.
THE HYPOCHONDRIAC.
THE GRAVES OF A HOUSEHOLD.
PLEDGE WITH WINE.