The Complete Bachelor: Manners for Men

New York D. Appleton and Company 1896
Copyright, 1896, BY D. APPLETON AND COMPANY.

I suppose a book of this character needs some excuse. The world is full of volumes written on etiquette, and, in adding another to the number, my plea for filling the want long felt may seem ridiculous. But I have an excellent reason, and that is, that in all treatises of this character I have found the bachelor sadly neglected.
For many years, while conducting the query or agony department in Vogue, I received letters from all parts of the United States asking for information on certain details of etiquette which seem to have been overlooked by the compilers or writers of etiquette manuals. My correspondents always wanted these questions answered from the New York standpoint. All this I have endeavored to do in this volume. I have devoted a chapter to sports. In this I have made no attempt to give the rules of the various pastimes therein enumerated. I have simply jotted down some points which I hope may be of use to the outsider.
In the chapter on dancing I have taken the Patriarchs' Ball in New York as my standard of subscription entertainments of this character. I have also written about cotillons as they are conducted in New York. I have endeavored to be plain and lucid. I only desired that this book should be a help to my reader in any dilemma of social import, and if I shall have proved of assistance, I shall feel that my mission has been accomplished, and that I have reached the goal of my ambition.


The average man is judged by his appearance and his deportment in public. His dress, his bearing, his conduct toward women and his fellow-men, are telling characteristics.
In the street, when walking with a woman—the term lady being objectionable, except in case of distinction—every man should be on his mettle. Common sense, which is the basis of all etiquette, teaches him that he should be her protector. Therefore, under general circumstances, his place is on the street or outer side. Should there be a crowd on the inner side, should the walking be muddy or rough, or should there be a building in process of repair, or one or the other of the inconveniences of city life, then the man should take the side which will enable him to shield his fair com panion from all annoyance. At night a man offers his arm to a woman. In the daytime etiquette allows this only when the sidewalk is very rough, when there are steps to climb, a crowd to be piloted through, or a street crossing to effect. In any one of these emergencies suggest, I think you will find it better to take my arm. A man never walks bodkin—that is, sandwiched between two women.