The Elevator

Transcribed from “The Sleeping Car and Other Farces” 1911 Houghton Mifflin Company edition by David Price, email ccx074@pglaf.org
Scene: Through the curtained doorway of Mrs. Edward Roberts’s pretty drawing-room, in Hotel Bellingham, shows the snowy and gleaming array of a table set for dinner, under the dim light of gas-burners turned low. An air of expectancy pervades the place, and the uneasiness of Mr. Roberts , in evening dress, expresses something more as he turns from a glance into the dining-room, and still holding the portière with one hand, takes out his watch with the other.
Mr. Roberts to Mrs. Roberts entering the drawing-room from regions beyond: “My dear, it’s six o’clock. What can have become of your aunt?”
Mrs. Roberts , with a little anxiety: “That was just what I was going to ask. She’s never late; and the children are quite heart-broken. They had counted upon seeing her, and talking Christmas a little before they were put to bed.”
Roberts : “Very singular her not coming! Is she going to begin standing upon ceremony with us, and not come till the hour?”
Mrs. Roberts : “Nonsense, Edward! She’s been detained. Of course she’ll be here in a moment. How impatient you are!”
Roberts : “You must profit by me as an awful example.”
Mrs. Roberts , going about the room, and bestowing little touches here and there on its ornaments: “If you’d had that new cook to battle with over this dinner, you’d have learned patience by this time without any awful example.”
Roberts , dropping nervously into the nearest chair: “I hope she isn’t behind time.”
Mrs. Roberts , drifting upon the sofa, and disposing her train effectively on the carpet around her: “She’s before time. The dinner is in the last moment of ripe perfection now, when we must still give people fifteen minutes’ grace.” She studies the convolutions of her train absent-mindedly.
Roberts , joining in its perusal: “Is that the way you’ve arranged to be sitting when people come in?”