The Comic Almanack, Volume 1 / An Ephemeris in Jest and Earnest, Containing Merry Tales, Humerous Poetry, Quips, and Oddities
Transcriber's Note:
The cover image was created by the transcriber and is placed in the public domain.
THE
COMIC ALMANACK.
1st Series, 1835-1843.
A SECOND SERIES of THE COMIC ALMANACK , embracing the years 1844—53, a ten years' gathering of the Best Humour, the Wittiest Sayings, the Drollest Quips, and the Best Things of Thackeray, Mayhew, Albert Smith, A'Beckett, Robert Brough, with nearly one thousand Woodcuts and Steel Engravings by the inimitable Cruikshank, Hine, Landells—
may also be had of the Publishers of this volume, and uniform
with it, nearly 600 pages, price 7 s. 6 d.
The Cold Water Cure
THACKERAY, ALBERT SMITH, GILBERT A. BECKETT,
THE BROTHERS MAYHEW.
FULL INSIDE, SIR, BUT PLENTY OF ROOM ON THE ROOF.
William Makepeace Thackeray
Gilbert Abbott À Beckett
Henry Mayhew
Horace Mayhew
Albert Smith
---
CONTENTS
PRELIMINARY
PRELUDIUM.
ASS-TROLOGICAL PREDICTIONS.
THE GREAT COMET.
ADVERTISEMENT EXTRAORDINARY.
HUMBUGGUM ASTROLOGICUM, PRO ANNO 1835.
ADVERTISEMENT EXTRAORDINARY.
ADVERTISEMENT EXTRAORDINARY.
PROCEEDINGS OF LEARNED SOCIETIES.
THE "WISDOM OF OUR ANCESTORS."
ADVERTISEMENT EXTRAORDINARY.
THE GARDENER'S CALENDAR.
DIARY.
ADVERTISEMENT EXTRAORDINARY.
VALEDICTION.
PROCLAMATION.
SLANGOLOGY.
Paragraphs Extraordinary.
"THE LAY OF THE LAST" ALDERMAN.
A DRAMATIC FACT.
THE SERVANT OF ALL WORK.
AN EPISTLE
THE NOTORIOUS UNKNOWN.
THE FIVE BELLES.
Advertisements Extraordinary.
FINALE.
CHRISTMAS BILLS.
VALENTINE'S DAY.
THOMAS GARDENER TO SALLY COOK.
THE DERBY DAY.
A PARALLEL CASE OF HARDSHIP.
A MAY-DAY LAY.
MISS AMELIA SMITH TO MISS JULIA SMYTHE.
OPERATION OF THE NEW POOR LAWS.
A TOUGH YARN.
ODE TO BEER.
SO—OH!—LOGICAL SOCIETY.
MUSIC'S POWER.
THE CRIER'S SONG.
SCRAPS FROM THE ANNUAL REGISTER.
HIEROGLYPHICUM IN FUTURO.
JACK FROST.
VALENTINE'S DAY.
THE GOOD OLD TIMES.
TAFFY'S ANNIVERSARY.
THE DARBY DAY.
BOWING AND HARROWING.
AMATEUR THEATRICALS.
JOHN BUDD AND SUKEY SIMS.
THE MARTYRDOM OF ST. PAUL'S.
PROCLAMATION DAY.
RAIL-ROAD TRAVELLING.
THAT MISTER NUBIBUS.
CHEAP BATHING
PLEASURING.
COUNTRY COMMISSIONS.
THE HARVEST SUPPER.
ÀPROPOS OF THE GOOSE.
TRIUMPH OF TEE-TOTALISM.
THE PRAISE OF PUNCH.
AN ADVENTURE OF A GUY.
HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS.
THE QUEEN IN THE CITY.
AL-MANIAC DAY.—A RUSH FOR THE MURPHIES.
JANUARY.—The Birth of the Year.
THE DORMANT PEERAGE—APPEALS IN THE LORDS.
FEBRUARY.—Cutting Weather.
EASTER SUNDAY.
MARCH.—Showery.
APRIL.—Fooling.
THE CONCERT SEASON.
MAY.—Restoration Day.
JUNE—Marrowbones and Cleavers.
SO-HO-LOGICAL SOCIETY.
JULY.—Summery Proceedings.
CHESS.—"BLACK MOVES AND WINS."
AUGUST.—Dogs have their Days.
SEPTEMBER.—Plucking a Goose.
"OTHELLO'S OCCUPATION'S GONE."
OCTOBER.—Mars and Venus in Opposition.
POETRY AT SIGHT.
A SETTLER'S LETTER.
THE JOINT STOCK SUICIDE CLUB.
NOVEMBER.—A General Post Delivery.
BLARNEYHUM ASS-TROLOGICUM PRO ANNO 1839.
DECEMBER.—"The Winter of our Discontent."
EXTRACTS FROM THE ANNUAL REGISTER.
JOLLY DOGS.—ABOLITION OF THE TRUCK SYSTEM.
A PENNY POST-OBIT.
FEBRUARY.—First Rout.
THE DUST ABOUT THE GOLD DUST.
MARCH DUST.—THE BELL SAVAGE.
MARCH.—A Day with the Surrey Hounds.
CAUGHT AT CATCHING.
APRIL.—The Finishing Touch.
MEMBERS OF THE LONDON PRESS.
MAY.—A New Drop Scene at the Opera.
GAME IN SEASON.
THE MARCH TO FINCHLEY.
RETURNING BY WATER
AUGUST.—A Tournament.
OUT-RIDERS TO THE QUEEN.
SEPTEMBER.—Over-boarded and Under-lodged.
MEDICAL STUDENTS.
OCTOBER.—Notice to Quit.
LONDON SMOKE.
NOVEMBER.—Law-Life Assurance.
FAT CATTLE SHOW.
DECEMBER.—Christmas Bustle.
BLARNEYHUM ASS-TROLOGICUM PRO ANNO 1840.
COMMONS, BUT NOT SHORT COMMONS
TWELFTH NIGHT.
A MARRY-TIME VIEW.
SAINT VALENTINE.
HAT-ON GARDEN.
THEATRICAL FUN DINNER.
FISHER'S LAKE SCENERY.
DIVIDEND DAY AT THE BANK.
MAY GAMES.—Hogg's-Wake.
SETTLING DAY AT "THE CORNER."
THE OXFORD ARMS.
THE LICENSED VICTUALLERS' DINNER.
DID YOU EVER?
THE USHER OF THE BLACK ROD.
ODE TO THE SEA:
THE INVASION OF BOULOGNE.
THE BLACK BOTTLE IMP.
A LAMENT FOR BARTLEMY FAIR.
A PROMENADE CONCERT.
LONDON LIONS.
ON GOOD TERMS.
CRADLE HER (NOT HYMN).
A LONDON FOG.
A STIRRING TIME.
CHRISTMAS COMES BUT ONCE A YEAR.
BOTHERUM ASTROLOGICUM PRO ANNO 1841.
LATEST NEWS FROM COURT.
MANNERS MAKE THE MAN.
BRANDY AND SALT.
ASSOCIATION OF BRITISH ILLUMINATI.
BEFORE DINNER, AND AFTER.
THE GAIETIES OF TOM GAD.
RINGING A PEAL, AND RINGING A BELLE
WAR SONG OF THE LUMBER TROOP.
HIGH TREASON.
REGISTER OF INVENTIONS FOR 1841.
OVER HEAD AND UNDER FOOT.
THE SHOP AND THE SHAY.
MISERIES ENOUGH FOR THE YEAR.
UP HILL AND DOWN DALE:
BLOOD HEAT AND FREEZING POINT.
A SMITH'S VICE.
PREMIUM AND DISCOUNT.
THE NURSE'S SOLILOQUY.
THE PARLOUR AND THE CELLAR.
DECEMBER—NOTES OF THE MONTH.
CHRISTMAS FARE.
PROCEEDINGS OF LEARNED SOCIETIES, 1841.
AN EARNEST LOVE LETTER.
LIKELIHOODS.
OH! LAW!
A LAW REPORT.
LONDON AND UNIVERSAL DEPOSIT ASSOCIATION.
THE CHARTER.
LIGHTS OF THE PRESENT, NOT OF OTHER DAYS.
A CHARTER PARTY.
MORALS FOR THE MILLION.
A FEW FACTS.
MARCH WINDS.
DISTRAINING FOR RENT.—A COURT LEVY.
COLD WATER.
A PROVERB REFUTED.
ODE TO SIGNOR RUBINI.
THE BOUNDARY QUESTION.
REPORT ON THE PUBLIC HEALTH..
CHINA.
THE COMPLETION OF THE TUNNEL.
THE CUP DAY AT ASCOT.
THE CHIMNEY-SWEEPER'S LAMENT.
WHAT'S TO BE DONE WITH THE PARISH 'PRENTICES?
REMARKS ON THE WEATHER.
SCIENCE UNDER DIVERS FORMS.
EFFECTS OF THE INCOME-TAX.
AIR-UM SCARE-UM TRAVELLING.
TAKING OF NINGPO.
VICTORY OF GENERAL SALE.
OVERLAND MAIL ARRIVED FROM INDIA.
GARDENING DIRECTIONS FOR AUGUST.
THE LONG VACATION.
SHOW OF HANDS FOR A LIBERAL CANDIDATE.
A POETICAL REPORT OF THE DOVER CROPPING CASE.
INDIAN RUBBER.
STOPPAGE OF THE MILLS.
THE HEIGHT OF IMPROVEMENT.
THE RIGHT OF SEARCH.
SOCIALISM.—"NEW HARMONY."
CHRISTMAS BEEF A LA MODE DE TARIFF.
THE FLEET MERGED IN THE QUEEN'S BENCH.
THE MILITIA.
CHRONOLOGY FOR THE YEAR 1842.
TRANSCRIBER'S NOTES
