Toasts and Forms of Public Address for Those Who Wish to Say the Right Thing in the Right Way
CONTENTS
INTRODUCTION AFTER-DINNER SPEECHES—ANCIENT AND MODERN VALUE OF A GOOD STORY AND HOW TO INTRODUCE IT PURPOSE OF AFTER-DINNER SPEAKING SOME A B C DIRECTIONS FOR MAKING SPEECHES, TOASTS, AND RESPONSES HOLIDAY SPEECHES Fourth of July Memorial Day Washington's Birthday Christmas Thanksgiving PRESENTATION ADDRESSES ADDRESSES OF WELCOME WEDDING AND OTHER ANNIVERSARIES TOASTS Sentiments Suggested by a Toast Miscellaneous Toasts Humorous Toasts MISCELLANEOUS ADDRESSES Centennial or Semi-Centennial Dedication of a Monument or Unveiling a Statue Birthday Celebration Reception Responses to Toasts at a Dinner Responses to Toasts to The Navy Responses to Toasts to General Jackson Responses to Toasts to The Workingman Nominating a Candidate Accepting a Nomination Speech in a Political Canvass Speech after a Political Victory Speech after a Political Defeat A Chairman's or President's Speech For Any Occasion ILLUSTRATIVE AND HUMOROUS ANECDOTES INDEX OF TOASTS INDEX OF ANECDOTES
The author of this manual has at various intervals prepared several treatises relating to the art of speech. Their wide circulation is an indication of the demand for works upon this subject. They were intended to embrace the principles which govern speech-making in the forum, in the pulpit, or at the bar. While these do not differ essentially from the principles applicable to occasions where the object is only entertainment, yet there are certain well-defined differences which it is the purpose of this little volume to point out. We hope thus to render the same service to a person who is called upon to offer or respond to a toast in a convivial assembly, as the author's previous volumes rendered to those preparing to speak upon subjects of a serious and practical nature.
That help is needed, and may be afforded, no one will deny. A novice called upon to participate in the exercises of a public banquet, an anniversary, or other entertainment, unless he has an experienced friend to give him a few hints or advice, is apt to be dismayed. He does not even know how to make a start in the work of preparation, and his sense of inability and fear of blundering go far to confuse and paralyze whatever native faculty he may have. A book like this comes to him at such a time as reinforcements to a sorely pressed army in the very crisis of a battle. As he reads, some ideas which seem practical, flash upon him. He learns what others before him have done. If he is to offer a toast, he examines the list furnished in this volume, finding one perhaps that pleases him, or one is suggested which is better adapted to his purpose than any in the book, and he wonders at the stupidity of the author in omitting it. Soon he becomes quite interested in this suggested toast, and compares it with those in the list to find out wherein it differs. Thus gradually and unconsciously he has prepared himself for the part he is to perform.
William Pittenger
TOASTS
DETAILED CONTENTS
INTRODUCTION
AFTER-DINNER SPEECHES—ANCIENT AND MODERN
THE VALUE OF A GOOD STORY AND HOW TO INTRODUCE IT.
THE PURPOSE OF AFTER-DINNER SPEAKING
SOME A B C DIRECTIONS FOR MAKING SPEECHES, TOASTS, AND RESPONSES
HOLIDAY SPEECHES
FOURTH OF JULY
SOME ITEMS THAT WOULD BE APPROPRIATE IN RESPONDING TO THESE TOASTS.
OUTLINE OF A SPEECH IN RESPONSE TO THE TOAST "THE DAY WE CELEBRATE"
OUTLINE OF A SPREAD-EAGLE SPEECH IN A FOREIGN LAND
OUTLINE OF A RESPONSE TO THE TOAST, "OUR COUNTRY"
MEMORIAL DAY
SKETCH OF A SPEECH IN RESPONSE TO THE TOAST, "OUR HONORED DEAD"
OUTLINE OF A SPEECH BY CHAUNCEY M. DEPEW, ON A DECORATION [MEMORIAL] DAY.
HUMOROUS RESPONSE BY BENJAMIN F. BUTLER TO THE TOAST, "OUR FOREFATHERS"
SPEECH-THOUGHTS
SELECTED OUTLINE OP AN EFFECTIVE LITTLE CHRISTMAS SPEECH
THANKSGIVING
TOASTS
THOUGHTS FOR A THANKSGIVING SPEECH
SELECTED OUTLINE FOE A THANKSGIVING SPEECH
PRESENTATION ADDRESSES
ADDRESSES OF WELCOME
ADDRESS OF WELCOME
ADDRESS IN RESPONSE
WEDDING AND OTHER ANNIVERSARIES
SPEECH FOR A WOODEN WEDDING
BRIDEGROOM IN REPLY
TOASTS
SENTIMENTS SUGGESTED BY A TOAST
MISCELLANEOUS TOASTS
HUMOROUS TOASTS.
MISCELLANEOUS ADDRESSES
SPEECHES AT A DINNER GIVEN TO THE RELIGIOUS PRESS
RESPONSE TO THE TOAST, "THE NAVY: OUR COUNTRY'S BEST WALL OF DEFENSE"
A NOMINATING SPEECH
SPEECH ACCEPTING A NOMINATION
SPEECH IN A POLITICAL CANVASS
SPEECH AFTER A POLITICAL VICTORY. SELECTED
SPEECH AFTER A POLITICAL DEFEAT. SELECTED
A CHAIRMAN'S OR PRESIDENT'S SPEECH
A GENERAL OUTLINE FOE ALL OCCASIONS
ILLUSTRATIVE AND HUMOROUS ANECDOTES
1. INDEPENDENCE OF A MONOPOLY
2. EXPLANATION
3. RIDING A HOBBY
4. HOBSON'S CHOICE
5. WHEN TO BE SILENT
6. PAYING FOR YOUR WHISTLE
7. GOOSE-CHASE
8. THE PERPLEXED SAGE
9. QUICK THOUGHT
12. INSIGNIFICANT THINGS
14. MAKING AN EXCUSE; OR, JOHNNY PEEP
15. STERN LOGIC
16. MISTAKEN BREVITY
17. CHARITY BEGINS AT HOME
18. CHARITY; OR, A GOOD WORD FOR EVERY ONE—EVEN THE DEVIL.
19. INGENIOUS REASON
20. AMBIGUITY OF WORDS
21. USELESS REGRET
22. NO HAPPINESS IN WEALTH
23. SHORT BUT POINTED
24. REASONING IN A CIRCLE
25. EXTREME ECONOMY
26. SENSIBLE TO THE LAST
27. FISHING FOR A COMPLIMENT
28. BEYOND EXPRESSION
29. THE TOAST OF THE EVENING
30. BEE LINE
31. VENTRILOQUISM
32. A SLIGHT MISTAKE
33. PRESENCE OF MIND
34. JOKE ON A DUDE
35. NEWSPAPER REPORTER
36. HOW A WOMAN PROPOSED
37. LUCKY ANSWER
38. DOUBLE EDUCATION
39. REMNANTS
40. INDIRECT AND DIRECT
41. AN UNMARRIED MAN'S WIFE
42. A DILEMMA
43. COURAGEOUS GIRL
44. MORAL SUASION
45. CUTE BOY
46. PERPLEXED
47. BEN FRANKLIN'S OYSTERS
48. FAMILY AFFAIRS
49. A BURGLAR'S EXPERIENCE
50. HITTING A LAWYER
51. CUTTING SHORT A PRAYER
52. UNREMITTING KINDNESS
53. AMUSING BLUNDER
54. COMPLIMENT TO A LADY
55. TOO SLIM
56. A FAST-DAY TOAST
57. THE SUN STANDING STILL
58. NEUTRALIZING POISON
59. GENERAL BUTLER AND THE SPOONS
60. MAKING MOST OF ONE'S CAPITAL
61. MEETING HALF-WAY
62. UNFORTUNATE MISTAKE
63. TAKEN AT HIS WORD
64. BRAGGING VETERANS
65. EXCHANGING MINDS
66. BUYING A LAWYER
67. WOULD NOT SAVE IT
68. WIDOW OUTWITTED
69. TOO KIND
70. NOT FOOLED TWICE
71. BITING SARCASM
72. INCORRIGIBLE NEIGHBOR
73. DISGUSTED OFFICER
74. IRATE PRISONER
75. TRUTHFUL PRISONER
76. RULING PASSION
77. BAD SPECULATION
78. SATISFIED WITH HIS SITUATION
79. A GOOD WORD FOR THE DEVIL
80. MARRYING A WIDOW
81. A GOOD SALE
82. TRIUMPHS OF MEDICINE
83. TIT FOR TAT
84. SLEEPING ON TOP
85. SAMBO AND THE LAWYER
86. SIXTY-CENT NAP
87. PREFERRED TO WALK
88. HORACE GREELEY'S JOKE
89. DOCTORS AND DEADHEADS
90. BOOMING A TOWN
91. ATHLETIC NURSE
92. TOO PREMATURE
93. A BEWILDERED IRISHMAN
94. OBEYING ORDERS
95. A SPEECH FROM THE REAR PLATFORM
96. A WAY OUT OF IT
97. THE EXTENT OF SCIENCE
98. WHAT'S IN A NAME?
99. STILL ROOM FOR RESEARCH
100. HE WAS "'PISCOPAL"
101. JOHNNY'S EXCUSE