THE CROOKED MAN.
"There was a crooked man,
And he went a crooked mile;
He found a crooked sixpence
Against a crooked stile:
He bought a crooked cat,
Which caught a crooked mouse;
And they all lived together
In a little crooked house."
Once begin with a crook,
You 'll go on with a crook;
Crooked ways, crooked luck, crooked peo-
ple.
Crooked eyes, crooked mind,
Crooked guideposts will find;
Yes, a crook in the very church-steeple!
The first mile you make
The initial will take
For all the long leagues that shall follow:
Right and left, fork and swerve,
Any turn that will serve,
Up and down, betwixt hummock and hol-
low.
If you pause at a stile
Or a fence for a while,
Some twist must compel or invite you:
Even sin, I've a doubt,
Were it straight out and out,
Could hardly persuade or delight you.
And a shave, or a bend,
Or a nick, must commend,
For you, every quarter and nickel:
Right pure from the mint,
There were no magic in't
Your trick-loving finger to tickle.
Crooked money will buy
But a crook or a lie,
Whatever the ware that you deal in
Your position in life,
Your companions, your wife,
Or even a playfellow feline
And as thief catches thief
In the common belief,
Be the creature a cat or a woman,
The crooked shall still
Find the crooked at will,
And you 'll see the old saw sayeth true, man.
In kin, neighbors, house,
In a servant or mouse,
She will always put paw on her likeness:
The same rule runs through,
For the false and the true,—
Straight to straight, and oblique to oblique-
ness.
So together, you see,
As you build, you shall be,
Every line of the mould in the casting;
And a nice little world
You 'll have made, when you 've
curled
And squirmed to your state everlasting!