CHAPTER VI
We must leave these gentlemen in the far East, and come back to Greenwich.
While the Emperor was returning to London he cast about in his mind for some way out of his difficulty.
He felt it was little use seeking the assistance of his royal consort, Catherine, daughter of Nicholas of Russia.
She would have little sympathy with him in his trouble, unless he could persuade her of his innocence of the charges that were being made against him.
Taking into consideration, too, that on that very morning he had quarrelled with her, and brutally told her that he heartily wished himself rid of her, it was at present, scarcely wisdom to seek her advice.
While his mind was thus filled with gloomy thoughts, the silence was broken by Prince Osbert who was accompanying him to the palace.
‘Here’s a pretty pickle, to be sure!’ exclaimed the prince, ‘a nice position for a royal Emperor to be found interfering with his lady astronomer, and she threatening his life to make him release her. What thou canst do to re-establish thy reputation is about as clear as mud to me, for by my conscience, I cannot see a way at all!’
‘What a prating fool thou art, Osbert! I can plainly see unless thy tongue is kept from wagging thou wilt ruin me by thy talk. Say nothing at all about the lady having been detained by me. I don’t mean to own to that part of it. Let us declare that she deliberately turned upon me when I expostulated with her upon her idleness; that will give the matter a better appearance.’
‘Aye, truly, a better one for thee! But thinkest thou, cousin, that the House will believe thee? I guess, they will sooner take Mercia’s word: remember its lady members, how bravely they defend their sex at all times. I wouldn’t give a sixpence for thy reputation after they have handled thy case.’
‘What care I for the good opinion of a handful of women? What are they in my vast dominions? Nothing, truly, nothing! Nevertheless, a monarch’s virtue, should be, like Cæsar’s wife, above suspicion: so Osbert, good cousin, thou must help me in this matter, and swear to all I tell thee.’
‘Commit perjury! No thanks, not if I know it. I cannot tell a lie—I’m another Juvenile Washington. Besides, Felicitas, it goes against the grain to do a dirty trick to any lady, least of all, our peerless Mercia.
‘She is a lady of untarnished reputation, with whom I would strongly recommend thee to make thy peace. Indeed, the ways of Emperors with their lady-subjects are quite too much for me—I cannot comprehend them.’
‘Heartless, thou ever wert, Osbert, pray try to realise my situation, and give up thy attitudes and play-acting proclivities. Now, remember, I had no hold on her person, when you two dropped upon us—I was merely expostulating with her.’
‘I’ll have nothing to do with the matter at all, I shall say I was seized with sudden blindness at that moment and saw nothing.’
‘Idiot, wilt thou keep to that?’ inquired Felicitas gloomily.
‘Yes, I will stick to that, wild horses shall not drag other from me.’
‘No one will believe thee.’
‘No one would believe the other thing, so it comes to the same for thee,’ returned Osbert lightly.
‘What other thing?’ inquired Felicitas.
‘Thy statement that she was idle, and thou wert reproving her for it. Her work proves her industry: she has any amount to show in defence of thy charge. Look at her maps; her writings; her daily announcements; her daily registrations of her observations. The charge of idleness, I fear me, will not help thy cause.’
‘It was not idleness in general, but some information in particular that she failed to supply me with.’
‘Think it over, cousin, of what this particular information consisted. I bet my garters it was somewhat thou canst not explain publicly.’
‘Cease thy chatter, and stick to thy resolve of having turned blind that very moment; ’tis the best thou canst do for me, I see very plainly.’
‘So I see, too, and as we two see alike we cannot come to any difference. Adieu, cousin, I hope Kate will not chide thee for having eyes for other women! That is my best wish for thee, this fine day.’
‘I don’t think that fellow could think seriously for five minutes if he had to be hanged for it,’ the Emperor muttered to himself, using the old expression ‘hanged’ for it was still retained, although that form of execution had been given up long before.
As the Emperor was being driven back to the city, Prince Osbert who cared little for his company at this moment, alighted from the carriage, leaving him to the management of his own affairs. Felicitas, then promptly decided upon driving to the official residence of his prime minister, Mr. Stonesack, for he was anxious to confer with him concerning the dilemma in which he was placed. Moreover, he desired to intimate to his minister that steps must be taken at once for the arrest of Sadbag and Geometrus. Neither could Mercia be left out of the indictment, for according to his story, she was the principal aggressor. He was not so lost to all good feeling that he experienced no pangs of self-reproach for the part he was taking against the innocent girl; but he could see only two ways out of the difficulty; either the impeachment of Mercia and her friends, or a full confession of his own conduct.
This latter would have been intolerable. The deliberate exposure of himself to the public, and a big public it was, by this time, for it embraced the whole world, after having so long played the part of Simon Pure to popular opinion, was out of the question. He would certainly shield himself, he thought, and if the worst came to Mercia he could exercise his royal clemency on her behalf, and set her at liberty again.
By this course he would get rid of the detestable Sadbag for good, and Geometrus at the same time. Who knows, thought Felicitas with a faint smile, but Mercia may still prove kind to me, if that fellow were only put out of reach.
Then followed in his mind bright visions of a lovely dwelling, situated in some distant part of his dominions, with Mercia for its mistress, and himself its secret owner, and constant visitor. How delightful! It should be fitted up like fairyland itself, with every luxury, and every appliance for her comfort. Little children might play about his knees, of which there was poor prospect of ever seeing in his royal palace; for so far, the Empress had proved barren. Then he awoke from his dream to the provoking reality of his true situation.
This pleasing reverie created, to some extent, a reaction in his mind. As his temper cooled so did his courage to make this heinous charge against innocent persons: but he supported himself with the reflection that at most the unfortunate men could receive no greater punishment than a term of imprisonment.
By the time his carriage reached the prime minister’s residence he had decided what to say, for he had succeeded in inventing an excellent excuse for his visit to the Observatory.
He realised that it was necessary to have his statement ready as to the precise nature of the work he had requested his astronomer to prepare for him, which through her neglect had caused the extraordinary scene of which the prince had been an accidental witness.
After much cogitation he evolved the feasible explanation that he had requested her to make calculations of each perturbation of the sun’s centre; and also to discover to what extent the additions of meteoric matter to his body would affect solar heat. He desired this information in the interests of all his subjects, but especially in those of agriculturists, and fruit-culturists, whose crops had been ruined by the continuous cold seasons.
Under ordinary circumstances the Emperor would have obtained the attendance of any of his ministers without leaving his apartment; in one instant the summons would have reached him, had the minister been there to receive it.
Here was the difficulty, however, for delay increased the danger, and allowed the enemy an advantage; accordingly the Emperor chose the less dignified but safer course of calling in person on his minister.
While Felicitas was relating his extraordinary account of the conduct of their astronomer and the subsequent treatment he had received from her friends, Stonesack’s countenance was a study to behold. At first he appeared profoundly astonished; this gave way to so many varying emotions that it was impossible to say what was going on in his mind, or guess what opinion he had formed of the affair. However, he listened very gravely to the story, in which the Emperor’s powers of imagination had been considerably called upon. And when the minister was pressed for an answer as to the best method of dealing with the delinquents, he hesitated considerably, coughed; looked very red; blew his nose, and finished by saying he didn’t know.
‘At all events,’ urged the Emperor, ‘this revolutionary Sadbag, ought to be indicted for wickedly conspiring to undermine my reputation, and thereby bring me into my people’s disfavour.’
‘What about thy two astronomers, does thy Majesty desire to include them in the indictment?’
‘Certainly,’ replied the Emperor, ‘did not Mistress Mercia threaten my life with her ebony life-preserver, and hath not Geometrus taken her part?’
‘Hath thy Majesty fully considered the merits of the case, that it be a sound one; otherwise it had better not be gone into publicly at all. Would it not be far wiser to administer correction to these foolish persons by requiring them to make an apology for their ill-behaviour?’
‘That they will never do, I am assured! Their looks and language betrayed their evil designs towards me. Get a warrant sent quickly, and put them in prison without delay—even now they may be working me infinite mischief.’
‘It will come to a trial in that case. What will the nation say? Will the people take thy word in preference to that of Mercia?’
‘I care not what the people think! I know my own mind: I promised those seditious ones what to expect, and they shall not be disappointed,’ returned the Emperor hotly.
‘As thy Majesty wills it: the warrant shall be made out and served to-morrow. It cannot be done more quickly. In the meantime thy Majesty will have opportunity to sleep upon thy purpose, and if thy mind be changed by morning send a message to that effect, I will keep in readiness for it.’
‘Count not upon that! There is no other way of dealing with those wretched conspirators,’ replied Felicitas moodily.
While Felicitas was making his plans with the Prime Minister another member of the Cabinet was listening with astonishment to Geometrus’ story; for Geometrus having travelled to the city in his own electric car made up for lost time by beating the Emperor’s horses in rapidity. Consequently, he arrived at the official residence of the Chancellor of the Exchequer, or Minister of Finance, about the same moment as Felicitas at the Prime Minister’s.
But Geometrus was not as well prepared with his statement as the Emperor. Moreover, he was unaccustomed at seeking audience of great people, and when he was ushered into the reception-hall of Lord Divesdale he felt exceedingly shy, scarcely knowing how to state his errand.
‘My lord,’ said he, and then stopped short, and blushed violently.
‘Pray be seated,’ said the minister in a kindly tone, for he was well acquainted with Geometrus, and had an excellent opinion of him.
‘I have somewhat to tell thy lordship,’ he commenced anew.
‘What is it?’ inquired Divesdale as he sank back in his armchair, in easy attitude.
‘It concerns Mistress Mercia, the Astronomer Royal,’ he managed to utter.
‘Ah, whatever concerns Mistress Mercia interests me; for she holds my good opinion,’ observed the minister smiling, and giving Geometrus a nod of encouragement to proceed.
‘I am heartily glad to learn that,’ rejoined Geometrus, recovering himself, ‘for she stands in need of good assistance at this moment.’
‘What is the matter—has she met with any serious accident?’ inquired the minister in alarm.
‘She has met with that which is infinitely harder to bear to one of her pure mind, than any physical injury.’
‘Thou speakest in riddles—pray explain thyself?’ returned his lordship a little sharply, for he was getting impatient.
‘My mistress has been grossly insulted by one who has taken advantage of his high position,’ Geometrus proceeded to say, but evidently with much reluctance.
‘By whom—Prince Osbert?’ queried his lordship hastily.
‘No, my lord, the Emperor himself,’ answered Geometrus in a low voice, but firm; the tones of which betrayed also the pain it cost him to make the disclosure.
‘The Emperor!’ repeated Lord Divesdale in profound amazement.
‘The same,’ Geometrus replied laconically.
‘How—in what manner? Pray tell me in a reasonable way what thou knowest of it?’ exclaimed Divesdale impatiently.
‘The Emperor has been coming much of late to the Observatory. Last week he made a journey thither ostensibly to talk astronomy with Mistress Mercia. Yet I saw he looked annoyed at my entrance, and as if I had been an interruption to him. However, this day he came again, and as I was in the city at the time, he obtained good opportunity to say all he desired, presumably, for it finished with Mercia tearing herself out of his grasp and threatening to take his life if he detained her further.
‘Prince Osbert, who had followed the Emperor to the Observatory for some purpose, entered the building at the same moment as myself, and we two suddenly came upon the scene just as Mercia had opened the door of the apartment to leave him. I looked into her face and saw it expressed the utmost scorn and indignation. “What is the meaning of this?” I asked, turning to the Emperor. “Oh, nothing,” he replied; “she has forgotten a duty, and I am upbraiding her.” “Liar!” exclaimed Mercia, “ask thine Empress to come hither, I have somewhat to tell her, and as for thee—find some other to fill my post, for I am thine astronomer no longer.”
‘Notwithstanding Mercia’s indignant refutation the Emperor persisted with his charge against her of idleness, and disobedience to his command; when I told him plainly that the matter should be made subject of a public inquiry; for Mercia was too honourable and pure-minded to invent a foul charge against anyone, least of all her royal master.
‘At this critical moment who should emerge from a corner of the apartment but Sadbag, the leading Radical member of Parliament? “I too, will take care that this be seen into!” he exclaimed. At this, the Emperor fumed furiously, and declared that it was all a plot against him, and he would have the three of us arrested for conspiring to defame his character; and finished by calling it high treason.’
‘How utterly absurd of him! But how did Sadbag come to be there so conveniently? it is as good as a comedy, by Jove!’
‘He explained that he was first in Mercia’s reception-room awaiting an audience of her, and by chance taking up a book he became so interested in it that he finished by falling asleep over it, so that the entrance of the Emperor, and a moment later of Mercia, he was quite unconscious of; a screen stood between him and them, consequently his presence was unperceived: and he only became aware of theirs when the Emperor in impassioned tones pleaded his love suit with Mercia, who disdained it. By that time Sadbag deemed it prudent to keep quiet, for he was getting more than he bargained, when he ensconced himself in the huge easy chair near the screen.’
‘What a shocking old man to spy at a love scene! I wonder how he contained himself so long!’ exclaimed Divesdale, who was bursting with merriment, for he ever saw the comic side of a thing, however grave it might be. ‘The Emperor must apologise to fair Mercia, and to thee, too, Geometrus. Throw aside thy dignity, et cetera, and help to square this piece of business; it’s no earthly use making a hue and cry over it. No lady cares to see herself a town talk! But this Sadbag—what are we to do with him? He truly is a sad bag of cranks! A piece of positive electricity, seeking its own level, not considering consequences; or a flash of forked lightning ready to put one on toast; or a match in a powder-box ready to pop—the man is in fact, too dangerous for anything.’
‘He’s the right man for the times! I’m not going to put the stopper on him. The Emperor must be made an example of,’ returned Geometrus fiercely.
‘I hope not, by Jove! the peace of the community would be permanently spoilt, if we all followed his example,’ observed his lordship drily.
‘I mean that the Emperor should be made a warning to all light-minded persons, in general, and monarchs in particular.’
‘Quite so: the Emperor by our endeavours shall be made more particular, especially in his treatment of the ladies.’
‘And Sadbag is the right man to do it!’ shouted Geometrus, who was getting quite warm with the discussion.
‘He’s a right man in the wrong hole! I mean he’s got the Emperor in a queer hole, and he won’t let him out of it! The position doth wholly delight him. He’ll take a holy joy in “taking it out of him,” or “putting him up a tree,” or making him eat humble pie, or what thou likest! Oh, he’s a sad dog or sadbag, I know not which, and no mistake! But we must circumvent him.’
‘I have no desire to circumvent him; I would infinitely prefer to help him. I do not regard this affair in the same light as thou, and could have hushed it up without the aid of a Cabinet minister, for the Emperor desired the same on the spot, offering me promotion, but I refused it on such terms,’ interposed Geometrus with much spirit.
‘I would that all men were as thou art, my friend, for then there would be neither place-maker nor place-seeker. What a perfect Government we should have; everyone seeking his neighbour’s good to the detriment of his own! The world indeed, would be too perfect for anything!’
‘No fear of that as long as there are those who strive to cover up ill-doing. I will seek Mr. Sadbag and get counsel of him, for it is very plain I can obtain no good advice from thee,’ said Geometrus, who was altogether disgusted at the minister’s light raillery, and rose from his seat to go away.
‘Stay, I hear familiar footsteps! One seeks admission whom I would see before thou leavest me,’ exclaimed the minister, who despite all his playful talk, knew how to act most wisely.
‘The Emperor! Sire, thy visit is well-timed; one moment, in private, I beg,’ and Divesdale conducted Felicitas into an inner apartment.
‘I require thy help and advice in a most painful matter,’ quoth the Emperor, turning very red in the face, but his speech was interrupted by the minister in a very offhand manner.
‘Sire, not another word, I have heard the whole story—’tis a frightful hobble, I must say. Truly a most diverting drama! Beats broad burlesque to bits! If society should get hold of this precious piece of scandal thy prestige will be ruined! An Emperor is a god, or at least, a demigod, who should appear perfect before his people, whether he be or no. But, now, he must step down from his pedestal, and apologise, just to straighten things comfortably. Nay, it cannot be hard to kneel to a deity, for Mercia is no less! All beautiful women are goddesses, let down from the skies for our adoration: ’tis very plain they were created for man’s worship: away, then, and fall down upon thy knees and implore her mercy.’
‘But she will not hear me,’ cried the Emperor taken aback by this unexpected harangue; ‘she is proud, haughty, and obdurate—ah, thou knowest not Mercia!’
‘The woman never breathed who could turn a deaf ear to the man who entreated her properly. Only kneel metaphorically, but talk to her prettily, and gaze into her eyes with tenderest pathos, and she will melt with pure pity for thy condition.’
‘I’ve done it all!’ blurted the Emperor unwittingly. ‘I mean it’s no use, she is quite too hard-hearted to help me.’
‘I was sure of it, Sire, thou hast done too much already,’ exclaimed Divesdale, with the audacity that is engendered of close intimacy. ‘I will myself entreat her to overlook thy naughty conduct, and thy charges against the two men must be withdrawn. By taking conciliatory measures the thing may blow over; but otherwise it may prove very unpleasant for thy Majesty.’
Thus with his raillery, for the Emperor and he were familiar friends, Divesdale had discovered the truth; and now knew for certain what the other minister only guessed at.
‘Conciliatory measures!’ repeated the Emperor, who had by this time recovered himself, and who knew that he had already gone too far to be able to retract with any show of respectability, ‘impossible! She threatened my life, and my prime minister has commanded that a warrant be issued for her detention.’
‘Surely thy Majesty cannot be in earnest?’
‘I never was more so,’ the Emperor answered with an assumption of haughtiness.
‘What about Sadbag and Geometrus?’
‘They too will get served with the same sauce,’ replied Felicitas, with true autocratic audacity.
‘Has the prime minister really advised this measure?’ inquired Divesdale gravely.
‘I have commanded it,’ returned the Emperor sharply.
‘On what grounds?’
‘Conspiracy; the three had conspired to scandalise me, and take away my character.’
‘And they’ll do it too!’ cried Divesdale, with his characteristic impulsiveness.
‘They shall have the opportunity of publicly doing what they were bent on privately.’
‘He has turned dotty, I’m sure of it,’ thought Divesdale, ‘in a monarch a little madness is a great danger. Well,’ said he aloud, ‘thy Majesty hath chosen thine own course and must abide by it, for I will wash my hands of the affair.’
‘Oh, wash away!’ said Felicitas testily.
‘Thine action against the two men is illegal: no warrant for their imprisonment can be issued: their fault is merely libel, and all Sovereigns are used to that!’ interposed the minister drily.
‘Thou makest a mistake there, friend,’ answered the Emperor with a wise look, ‘remember my royal mother, Victoria the Second, who led such a virtuous life and was so proud thereof, that when the “Times” newspaper published a paragraph announcing that she was about to marry her late husband’s father she was so scandalised thereby that she caused an Act to be passed decreeing that anyone who uttered a serious scandal against the reigning Sovereign should be indicted for high treason, for she held that the good name of the Sovereign should be considered as sacred as their person; under this Act, therefore, are these two scandalmongers to be arrested.’
‘Ah, yes, I had forgotten it! But that trifle would not be scandal now. Only twelve months ago thy hand signed an Act permitting thy subjects to marry whom they will, save those in the first degree of consanguinity. A man may marry his grandmother now, if he choose!’
‘Of course,’ admitted the Emperor, ‘only he does not choose, as a rule.’
‘It is inadvisable from every point of view: nowadays one’s grandmother attains such longevity that to marry her for her fortune, is like turning monk for a livelihood: a man’s freedom arrives when ’tis not worth the having, for she goes on living until he becomes grey-headed.’
‘True! But this is not my business!’ broke in the Emperor impatiently, ‘let us discuss what more nearly concerns me. Can I count on thy good service in this matter, or no?’
‘Call a Cabinet Council,’ suggested Divesdale, ‘in the multitude of councillors we shall get wisdom,’ he added, quoting from very ancient history.
The Emperor made a gesture of impatience at this sally, for he felt the minister was drawing him, and took his departure forthwith.
The thought instantly crossed the minister’s mind that the affair would make a very interesting plot for his next novel; for he was a favourite novelist whose works were welcomed by the people for their merit, and not because they were written by a popular minister of the State.
‘If we could only put the actual occurrences of life as they appear before our eyes into our works what rattling good stories we could write!’ laughed Divesdale, as he threw himself into his easy chair for a smoke and a soliloquy.
Ideals of art and literature are as subject to change and remodelling as are theories of natural science, which are bound to give way as the light of knowledge reveals little by little the true conditions of the mysteries of life and its environments. Accordingly literature-making had its fashions; a reaction had taken place, and from the field of novel writing which had been in the past almost entirely filled by lady writers, these were now self-eliminated; women having successfully taken up the positions of historians, mathematicians, political economists, and expounders of natural and mental philosophies. So successful was the female in the writing of books designed for instruction that no male had a chance in this walk of literature, unless he assumed a feminine pen-name, and by this harmless subterfuge gain a reputation in spite of his sex.
Science as applied to manufactures had reached such perfection that the stones for building purposes were now manufactured, the stone quarries, as a matter of course, having almost given out. By a cunning admixture of chemically prepared material whose chief substance was composed of silicious sand brought from the pathless deserts by electric motive power, at a comparatively small expense, this granular quartz, or flint under certain conditions was reconverted into beautiful slabs of stone, of hard and enduring quality.
It was no uncommon sight to see whole streets, or terraces of handsome houses built apparently of blocks of glittering granite which sparkled bravely in the sunlight: nor were these imitations confined to one sort, for various marbles were so closely imitated, and withal so hard and enduring that the villas of the middle classes bore the appearance of veritable marble halls. Inside the walls were not papered, but finished with a dressing of apparently beautiful marble, while a wainscoting of richly embroidered silk velvet imparted an air of comfort to the rooms; a by no means unwelcome addition, for the climate of England, like the poor, is always with us.